Seriously people, I am tired...no, wait I am beyond tired and way beyond being pissed off. This latest health "issue" of mine has well and truly kicked me in the arse and I'm over it. I'm in pain and I'm miserable and you bet I'm wallowing at my own private Pity-Party. I'm over trying so bloody hard to live up to (my own mostly) expectations about working, about living, and about eating a more healthy diet (readers of this blog may recollect my no-wheat, no-sugar, no-flour, no-taste eating plan which I've stuck rigidly to for the past 59 days) - for months and months now I've been exercising right and eating right and living right and smiling right and being so damned "good" and look where it's bloody well got me....and so I've been doing some thinking....
Statistically, women are physically healthier specimens than men. Women live longer, and generally when they look like they might be 8 months pregnant, it IS a baby and not a weekly slab of beer. Ironically though, it's the pressure that women put on themselves to look healthier (read: thinner) that sees them fall behind men in the mental health stakes. Women are bloody hopeless slaves to the glossy whims of magazines, forever comparing themselves to airbrushed ideals and pampered celebrities. They fear ordinary and drive themselves to madness in their quest to change every single aspect of that which nature dished up. Men look at George Clooney or Brad Pitt, shrug and order pizza and beer.
Interestingly, many of the so-called beautiful people who women idolise in their quests to change everything about themselves are no happier than your average housewife. In fact, some are downright depressed, disturbed, and damaged by the omnipresent pressure to look good, live well, and eat rarely. Why else is Claudia Schiffer thin enough to disappear when she turns sideways? Why is Cindy Crawford wracked by reports of her husbands cheating? Why do Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell get so nervous around airport sniffer dogs? It seems likely the only uber-gorgeous celebrities who seem genuinely happy have had their smiles painted on by the InStyle Airbrushing Department. Perhaps if female celebrities themselves revolted against the pressure to be ever thinner and younger, the average ordinary woman would follow suit.
Did you know that the latest international figures have revealed that a staggering 82% of working mums (like there is any other kind) survive on less than five hours sleep per night? About 40% would be classified as depressed if, Prozac willing, they had the time to get to the Doctor to be diagnosed. While good make-up does much to hide the modern working-mum's dazed and confused look, the fact remains that most of them are stumbling about from family crisis to committee meeting on little more than a cup of strong coffee and a sloppy 6am kiss from a three year old. That they command 4WD vehicles in supermarket carparks is frankly terrifying.
Men simply don't let themselves get as rundown as and exhausted as women do. Wisely, they allow themselves to concentrate on one thing at a time and consequently (usually) do that one thing rather well. They relax without letting themselves feel guilty about it. They don't trouble themselves about remembering family birthdays and key events. They don't worry about neglecting friends. They trust that women will do enough worrying about the state of their relationship for both of them. They watch entire TV shows all the way through. They sleep for eight hours a night.
Women would do well to follow men's lead (or lack thereof) in this area. They should ignore the ghosts of pioneering feminists baying at their heels. For all that bra-burning achieved, the reality is that modern women have gone and whipped themselves into vicious circles of exhaustion, the high price of which is exacted in their health, their self-esteem and their relationships.
Women need to stop this madness. They need to listen to men when they say, remote in hand "Sit down already. The footy's about to start”! They need to change all the rules of this crazy game called daily life. They need to scream: "I am Woman! Hear me snore! I can't keep running anymore" !!
Whew....off to bed now - phone off the hook, ceiling fan on, ipod on soothing tunes selection....ahhhhhhh - oh fuck !! I completely forgot - Zach has a cricket game at 0800h tomorrow at an oval some 45mins drive from here - quickly start snoring, you only have a few hours to sleep, shit, where are his cricket whites, have they been washed, what about his new boots, will they give him blisters, remember to take bandaids, bloody hell, get some sleep, the alarm will be going off if you don't fucking go to sleep, shit what is that noise, oh hell, the cat's stuck in my wardrobe again, fuck, have they been fed ... Fuuuuuuck !! I forgot to give Banjo his antibiotics tonight, oh hell, I hope his eye doesn't get re-infected now...oh what is that noise, shit it's the bloody shower dripping, gotta get a new washer for the tap...breathe, breathe, Fucking Hell - now what ? I'm not sure I locked the front door.... bloody hell Tex, where are you ???????? Come home soon pleeeeease !!!!!!
Do Fish Dream ?
Friday, February 1, 2008
I am Woman, hear me snore !
Posted by Tex's Missus at 2/01/2008 08:25:00 PM
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13 comments:
Amen! Men are too relaxed because they know the woman will take care of everything for them. Whether it's dinner, laundry, vacation plans, seeing that the bills get paid, balancing the check book, keeping up w/the social calenders, whatever!!
I think some of my hair just turned a little grayer.
Ah, but as for the glamour women... I'd like to lose weight (& am doing so), but I don't want to be stick-thin. I'd just like to be able to bend over & tie my shoes or for that matter, even see my shoes instead of my gut, or climb a flight of stairs without gasping for air.
Thanks for the laughs, that was a good post. On sleeping, the only time I ever get a good nights sleep is when we go on holidays. I wake up and physically get out of bed 3-4 times every night to tend to the cats and have done so for the last 8 years.
'i am woman, hear me snore' oh i love it, should be my mantra, i also only get about 5 hours sleep on a good night...and that paragraph about all the things ruminating in your head is so spot on its spooky.
Why do I lie there ruminating over things which either don't matter, things i have no control over and things that have been and passed...i don't know TM, but I found myself nodding a lot reading this post, and hhmmm-ing in agreement. As a matter of fact all that nodding has me yawning, but you can bet i won't be asleep for another 5 hours yet!
Hey....beauty comes from within and if others don't like what's 'without' then f*ck em. We are what we are and who we are and we don't need an airbrush to look good! ;o)
Reminds me of Nickleback..'Somethings gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way to damn good'...
.ahhh Missus, tis primal and goes back to the cave...men dont stress, they are solitary animals who hunt, woman on the other hand keep the cave, and need one ear open to predators ...
I'm a bit over our feminists trail blazers, as instead of getting independance (ie a wage), it was never going to be enough to replace they myriad of things we do in the home, so from that point we were basically expected to do 2 jobs for one wage... plus be ready for nights of raunchy sex...3hrs sleep and get up and do it again...
honestly Im single independant mother of 2.2 children and I dont think my married sisters (with or without children) have it any easier in terms of ...getting it all done in a day ... femminism screwed up somewhere...
How ya feelin tonight chick...as mum would say, 'need a bex and a good lie down'... thinkin of ya babe
I absolutely loved the last part of your post. :) I put in a movie at night and I'm out like a light, but I'm also a very light sleeper.
PW - in order to be that thin, those chicks would either have to live on fresh air and lettuce leaves, or be bulimic or anorexic or both - and who wants to live their whole lives forever denying themselves the genuine pleasure from eating nice foods and drinking fine wine ? Nah, if that's what it takes to be skinny - count me out :)
Sarah - Oh jeez, is that what the smell is around here - the bloody rubbish must be piling up - yep, Tex you can home now babe :)
Sean - WTF ? Now, I am absolutely a smother-mother when it comes to my cats, but even I don't even get up to my furry kids that many times ...what's the story - I seriously need to know (if only to tell Tex that there really is someone who fusses over cats more than me :)
Kyles - I know, it's so pitiful - I've even taken to leaving a pad and pen on my bedside table so that if I think of stuff like that, I can write it down - if I do, usually I can sleep; if I don't, you can bet I'll be on less than the 5hrs per night. Silly that we fret over things we cannot change, but the what-if's sometimes truly do my head in :)
Gemmak - thanks; I've been wallowing a bit, so your a good dose of your kick-arse attitude is just what I need right now :)
Abbey - yep, feminism, schmenism ...I like my make-up, I like to dress like a girl when I go out, I adore high heels and I shave my legs and underarms ... but I am also very firm on the merit principle and fairness...does that make me a 'sell out' to the sisterhood - I don't think so ! In fact, as you insightfully point out, I think women generally have been sold down the freakin' creek by the sisterhood - we are not superwomen and nor should be aspire to be ... the sooner the notion of "having it all" is kicked into touch, the better of we'll (or at least I'll) be :)
Tina - I know Tina, I'm a madwoman - I think and talk at a million miles an hour - any wonder I'm stressed out .. maybe I should try the movie watching thing at night :)
Our two cats love to hate each other. They will play pawsies under the bedroom door chase one another at 3 in the morning and sleep during the day(the little bastards).
They are indoor cats, though the thought of making them permanent outdoor cats has crossed my mind.
They do tend to go through phases though. The best night I have had at home is having been woken only once, the worst 8 times.
Yep I now know exactly what you mean Sean; my two Burmese are exclusively indoor cats as well and they sleep 17hours a day, and think that night time is playtime - and they too chase each other up and down the stairs and I can hear their claws tap tapping across the hardwood floors at unseemly hours of the night/morning. I am a lot more forgiving than Tex - they sleep on our bed when he is away, but he growls when he's home so they stay out of the bedroom then :)
I growl at the cats. It usually results in about an hours peace.
Great post! I have to admit I sleep like a rock. Falling asleep in less time it takes to get comfortable and almost nothing will wake me up. It's a good thing and bad thing. Because of this ability I do have a hard time sleeping if without a watchful partner.
Hi Squirrel; thanks for dropping by. I really envy your ability to fall asleep easily - and then when asleep to stay asleep ! I usually sleep well enough once I am asleep, but agree, when Tex is away I tend to hear (and amplify) every creak, thump and groan of the house and every noise outside too :)
Yeah, but I don't care if the cats play outside the bedroom at night - i will put in ear plugs if they shit me too much.
As for men not needing to worry because women do stuff for them, it's actually because we only worry about important shit. If I was alone, with no one to do the dishes, pay the bills, feed the cats, do the laundry, I'd just do it when it was necessary.
It's really a game about who has the highest tolerance for not doing stuff. I think I win because I don't mind dirty dishes, dirty floor, stinking cat box, and if clothes aren't ready for the next day I'll do 'em in the morning, or if not too dirty just wear 'em twice.
My rule for laundry is if you aren't sure whether it is dirty or clean then obviously it must be clean, because if it is not obviously smelly, stained or dirty, then it is fit to wear again. I can't see the point in washing something that you think may be dirty - for fucks sake, if you can't tell then it don't need washing!
As for dogs, I say it is actually good for them as a carnivore to have a big feed of bones and meat one day and none the next, or even none for two days. Their metabolism is suited to this, not to our idea of feeding them because we think they are hungry. No wonder so many pets are fat and have bad dental hygiene - the man's way of just feeding them when you remember is best for dogs.
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