While I'm on health matters, I feel compelled to touch briefly upon the issue of smoking. I'm sorry, but it is one of the dumbest things a person can do. Smoking claims more human lives daily than text-messaging drivers, yet no amount of rotting lung pictures will curb their ways.
The answer, for the sake of the human race, is to sack all the BMW-driving ad people paid to conjure up images of fetid body organs and instead fork out a far more mediocre sum of money to an advertising campaign that embraces the more subtle side of ordinary. Behold a new generation of cigarette-packet wake-up calls:
WARNING: Smoking produces unsightly rectangular bulges in your shirt pockets and trousers.
WARNING: Smoking outside buildings makes you a captive audience for street sellers, religious zealots and bums wanting money (for cigarettes).
WARNING: Smoking seriously limits your first impression prospects with potential bed partners - seriously kids, you are not going to get a root if your breath, clothes and hair smell like a filthy ashtray.
WARNING: Smoking makes you look like an addict. And seriously, that's about as attractive as socks with sandals.
WARNING: Smoking will hinder your career prospects, mainly because your non-smoking workmates don't actually appreciate picking up the slack caused by your frequent twenty-minute disappearing acts. Sometimes they even call you the 'fat lazy bastard downstairs again'.
WARNING: All smokers cough like old men sleeping in bus shelters.
WARNING: Smoking causes you to assume permanent awkward hand poses and finger gestures, with or without cigarettes within smoking distance, turns your fingers yellowy-brown and your nails soon resemble the texture of a gnarly horses hoof.
WARNING: You do smell bad. NO, really, you reek.
WARNING: Smoking makes you the enemy of large blokes called firemen.
WARNING: 19,000 people like you died of a smoking-related disease in this country last year. Oh, but you're different, aren't you ?
WARNING: What are we going to say at your funeral ? That you went before your time ? That your death came as a terrible shock to us all ? HA ! Bring on the "I told you so's" !!!
(Okay, I'm now standing in front of you smokers with a bloody great target on my chest, so feel free to take pot-shots back at me :) (I do a shed-load of things others would no doubt consider very dumb)
Do Fish Dream ?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Where There's Smoke .... there's Dumbness
Posted by Tex's Missus at 2/25/2008 07:46:00 PM
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12 comments:
I am not going to have a go - I totally agree. And the dry Australian humor used to present the serious side of life can't be argued with...
I have been seriously trying to stop since December and am doing okay although a little more will-power wouldn't go amiss.
What has always annoyed me most about my own habit is that I enjoy it, I never "needed" a smoke. Not that my lungs would agree with this at all :-)
I will print this out and carry it in the purse :-)
Awesome post and seriously funny. What is really amusing is that I was going to write about smoking--not a post like yours, but "another" viewpoint. Stay tuned for that....
Illinois has been smoke free since January 1st and our town has been smoke free for almost 2 years. It does make a difference when you go out---but I have found that tend to drink more now because the smoke doesn't bother me...how's that for irony!
I agree whole heartedly. I practically danced with jubilation when Jefferson & Oldham counties (where I live) went smoke-free. A couple of my co-workers weren't so pleased, but piss on them!
"WARNING: Smoking seriously limits your first impression prospects with potential bed partners - seriously kids, you are not going to get a root if your breath, clothes and hair smell like a filthy ashtray."
...but what if she smokes too? I wouldn't mind having sex with a woman who smokes even when I've quit.
Such a hard habit to break, it is so addicting. I have quit several times, and I must say that each time it has been a bit easier. Been smoke free now for at least five years and I don't miss it at all. ~Deborah
i haven't smoked in years, but the sniff of a newly opened pouch of whiteox puts my cravings back to square one! We have just dealt with this issue at work, and now have a 'harm reduction' model that I hope will encourage our clients to cut down at least.
The thing that scares me most is that there are three demographics for whom the anti-smoking message has not got through to in Australia.... 1. young people, primarily young girls, 2. poly drug users, those who use other drugs as well as nicotine and 3. lower socio economic status, the poorer of our community. To me these are the people who will cost our health system the most and contribute in some instances the least to public health in terms of taxes. i hope rudd steps up to the plate and doesn't stop with alcohol use, sorry to all the smokers out there i have just offended as well xo
ps tex missus...thanks for another thought provoking post xo
"WARNING: Smoking makes you look like an addict." ....and there you have it, it doesn't make you look like an addict, you are an addict and that's the problem in a nutshell. I know, I smoke and I smoke a lot, I know the risks etc. etc. but none of those things impact enough on addiction, that's the very nature of addiction, it's not controlled by common sense, if it were we would have all given up years ago!
MG: I was trying to be funny, but I think I may have come over all preachy (that wasn't my intention). I can only imagine how difficult it is to stop once addicted, and I applaud all of you who are trying to beat it. Good for you :)
Sarah: I've never smoked, so I guess I may have sounded a bit patronising. I cannot imagine inhaling smoke into my lungs and it feeling or tasting good - but millions of people would disagree with me I know.
PitaWoman: Snap Sister :)
IP: Yep, you are absolutely right IP - if you both smoke - where is the problem !
IndigoDaisy: Good on you Deborah - kudos for being able to beat it. I admire your resolve.
Kyles: Like other health-harming behaviours (gambling is another insidious addiction) that reap millions for the government coffers, there is little incentive for them to do much to control it.
Gemmak: I didn't mean to make light of the nature of addiction; you are absolutely correct, it is not easy - I should know, I am married to an alcoholic who is in recovery and have lived with addiction for years. I'm sorry if my attempt at humour suggested otherwise.
All - sorry to everyone I may have offended by making light of this matter - I do know it is a seriously addictive habit and as I've never smoked in my life, I shouldn't make judgements about your stuggles or choices :) I should stick to Dalai Lama quotes ... :) nah, fuck it - I'll find something else to poke fun at next.......
I don't think you have offended anyone Missus - and if you didn't leave a comment so who cares :-)
Lol...hey, I'm not offended, you keep poking fun at whatever you want to, if we can't laugh at ourselves then it's a sad world :o)
My mother had cardiovascular system problems for years before she died, and so the last two decades of her life were spent being chronically ill. Smoking for her entire adult life undoubtedly contributed, and she tried several times to quit. She never could do it; for her, the addiction was too great.
I've never smoked, but I suffer from asthma. I suspect, but can't prove, that growing up in a house full of cigarette smoke contributed to my own illness. (No, I never smoked.)
So, smoking is stupid -- and it can affect the health of those around you -- but I have a lot of sympathy for people who find quitting a major struggle. Yet I encourage you to keep trying. You don't want to spend the last two decades of your life dying by inches.
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