Please - Act Your Age Not Your Shoe Size !

Although my biological age is 43, I frequently forget 'cos in my head I'm still that funky 25year old from yesteryear (WTF ??? Who says yesteryear other than old people ??) Anyway, I get lots of frights when I see myself in the reflections of shop windows because I think, who's that ? Yikes, it's me !! So, as a result, there are those times when I'm out shopping or getting dressed to go out and I have to give pause and consider..."Am I too old to wear this top/those boots/these jeans/that groovy necklace ?" You see kids, I have a seriously morbid fear of being thought of as "Mutton-Dressed-as-Lamb" (or MDAL). Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, the MDAL phenomenon rears its seriously ugly head an older woman tries to get away dressing like she’s in her twenties - or scarily, even younger :)

Fortunately, I have a 15year old son who helps to keep me honest in this regard. No question, Zach likes his mum to look cool, but if I step over the MDAL line in the sand, he let's me know. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was going to watch him play cricket and was dressed in jeans, boots and a Green Day t-shirt. He looked at me and said, are you going dressed like that ? I said, ummm yes. He said, the jeans look good, but I'm not so sure about the t-shirt mum, no offence..... (even though I was the one who took him to the freakin' Green Day concert :) But, no offence taken, offending t-shirt off, another found that passes the test, and we are out the door. Zach often tells me that I look good and he likes it when his friends tell him he has a groovy mum, and so when he suggests in his tactful, sensitive, diplomatic way that perhaps I've started to MDAL up a storm - I take note and take immediate action.

Perhaps I should hire him out to give advice to those MDAL victims in Sydney ?? 'Cos, over the weekend I was out shopping and a middle-aged woman walked passed me wearing uber-trendy denim jeans, stiletto heels, a breast-hugging, bling-encrusted t-shirt with the word "Princess" emblazoned in rhinestones, and hoop earrings that were large enough to shoot basketballs through. Now, I need to clarify that this woman would have easily been in her late 40s, a time in one's live when you could be viewed as a classy dame, but seriously this woman looked like a pro (and I don't mean as in athlete :) During the evening, I spied yet another similarly-aged woman who was wearing a short pleather (not even real leather - double ugh) skirt and a flimsy top that was barely containing her obviously fake, rock-hard bowling-ball tits. Her hair was so chemically damaged it looked like a haystack and her skin was so tanned by the sun that it looked like the leather from my grandfather's wallet. Although both these women were quite attractive, that's absolutely no excuse for them wearing things that could be found in the Myer Miss Shop clearance rack, Valley Girl or Supre. Girls, PLEASE don’t do this to yourself. It just makes you look so sad and pathetic that you’re holding on to something you had a long time ago. Hey, I can understand a girl's need to remain cool and hip as the years go by, but that doesn't mean you have to look desperate !

Older women can still look hot and sophisticated by wearing clothes that suits her age. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to dress appropriately. Lastly, welcome your more "mature years" with open arms. Some of the classiest people still look sharp despite their age. Learn to work with what you have and don't try to hold on to your youth by dressing like a cast member for the next instalment of "High School Musical."