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Do Fish Dream ?

Saturday, January 5, 2008

What's The Worst Job You've Ever Had ?



Compared to many, my feeble contribution to this post does not rate very highly on the "worst job scale". But, for the sake of getting this party started.....

I grew up on a wheat and sheep farm and one of the many gross jobs I had to do was to crawl under the shearing shed, shovel the sheep shit into buckets, put it into bags and then dig it into the dozens of garden beds in our orchard. Yes, sheep shit makes great organic fertiliser, but I swear I cannot eat sultanas to this day, UGH !

One of the other yuk but very necessary jobs I had, was to assist sheep to deliver lambs. When a ewe is exhausted after trying unsuccessfully to deliver her lamb, you need to put your arm inside her, locate a limb and pull it free. And no, the lambs don't just 'pop' out all white 'n fluffy 'n cute - there is usually an inordinate amount of physical effort required by the 'puller' to get those suckers free. And no, the poor 'pullee' tends not to lie there quietly, her hooves up in stirrups, listening to whale music, sucking the guts out of the nitrous oxide/oxygen mix while panting her way rythmically through her contractions - NO, she tries to get up and get the fuck away from you; and there's always gallons of freaky muck all over the place and all over you. Now all very well and good if you are a vet - gross if you are a 13 year old girl.

And, what's worse, my Dad was a non-believer in pocket money - so I did all of these hideous jobs for the love of it. WTF ??!!

So, boys and girls of Blogland, what's the worst job you've ever had ??

12 comments:

Unknown said...

hhmmm...my worst ever job? I don't have horror farm stories, but I did grow up the daughter of an alcoholic and recreational fisherman, so I have my share of icky memories. Worst paid job...uummm...working for an NGO with a toxic work team, one where the staff issues meant there was little energy left to inviest in the clients, got outta there quick smart!

Chelsea + Shiloh said...

At 15 I was on a station out Quilpie way. It was in the middle of 7 yr drought. The dam levels had dropped way down, and my job was to go and get the ewes that had gone for water and got stuck..

(most died)in the knee deep mud and drag em out. Any too far gone I had to knock on the head. Make piles of carcases, all the time the lambs would be screaming at me. I then had to round up the orphan lambs 7 try and get em back to the station, then move on to the next dam. For lots of reasons that was probably my worse job...

Joe said...

Compared to the sheep stories, working nights and weekends for 30 years is cake.

Anonymous said...

Wiping peoples asses is up there for me.

I use to be an STNA which entailed many nasty jobs that involved human body secretions.

Anonymous said...

Probably installing ducted heating, crawling around in dirt under houses, trying to squeeze under floor bearers or lying on the side digging holes.

Not as bad as working with animals in distress though, or cleaning up human mess.

Silvia said...

Never had a totaly bad job....how lucky I have been compared to you and some others, but if I had to pick one I'd say cleaning for the Armed Forces....educational to say the least....lol

Unknown said...

Had some horrendous bosses but the jobs jave been okay. Worst 'helping out' job (and yes it involves sheep) is pulling grass seeds out from around their eyeballs.....

Bettie K. said...

Dear God I'm going to come across as the silver spoon baby, but here it goes...

When I was 16 I got a job at a candy store that we used to frequent often as kids. My dad loved to buy their "turtles" (pecan/carmel and chocolate) so he was very happy that I was working there. However, one day, as we were "restocking" some of the candy we opened the container housing the turtles and a million moths flew out....talk about wanting to throw up.

No big surprise that the candy shop went out of business and my dad did not have another turtle for years.

gemmak said...

Ok...I can't get anywhere near that for the worst jobs title and I have to admit I kinda like the sheep birth idea....even without the white fluffy bit....but I can see the downside with the mothers antics!

Anonymous said...

For me it would have to be working in a nursing home while I was at uni. Because I was a junior nurses aid, the more senior nurses gave me all the crap jobs... literally

Anonymous said...

What about this job from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore?

CLIVE:
Er, I'll tell you the worst job I ever had.
DEREK:
What was that?
CLIVE:
The worst job I ever had was with Jayne Mansfield. You know, she was a fantastic bird, you know .....
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
..... big tits, huge bum, and everything like that, but I had the terrible job of retrieving lobsters from her bum.
DEREK:
Really? Bloody hell, that must have been a task.
CLIVE:
Well, it was quite a task 'cause she had a big bum .....
DEREK:
Well, I remember.
CLIVE:
..... and they were big lobsters.

Poodles said...

I worked for a daycare once for a while. Probably why I have dogs now.