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Do Fish Dream ?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies



Sometimes kids you have just have to smile despite yourself :)


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto !! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat - use the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

8. Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


FINAL THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS .

7 comments:

pita-woman said...

I think #5 is my fave. May have to try that one on my husband. ;)

tina FCD said...

The slinky one cracked me up!

kyles said...

i couldn't pick a fav, they all made me giggle :) i guess the duct tape one is the one I nodded at! I love the saying.... Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together! plus i'm married to a plumber, so everything gets held together with grey rope! Thanks for sharing xo

Mountaingirl said...

Oh I love this - I am actually sitting her cracking up! Hope the new neighbors don't think I am too weird lol.

random moments said...

I enjoyed those so much that I read them twice. Lol. I'm sending my boyfriend your way - we both love this kind of humor!

Sarah said...

Nicely done, my friend. I needed a laugh and you delivered!

Iron Pugilist said...

Pssst! Hurry home! Tex misses you!