TexsMissusDemeanours

The Perfect Sister

2008-04-25T17:46:00.003+10:00

Many of you may share my image of the "perfect sister". She understands you intuitively because she had the same parents and shared your childhood. She laughed and cried with you through all your early adventures: family outings and holidays, summers at the beach, shopping expeditions, getting through school, experiments with haircuts and makeup, surviving first loves and losses.

She accepts and supports you even when she would choose a different path. Although you started out as big or the little sister, you evolved into equal friends. She never complains that your parents gave you more and that's why your life turned out better. She is always there for you in moments of crisis, knowing what you need without being told.

She can listen to you without offering advice when you just want a sympathetic ear. She was your ally in childhood who helped you deal with your parents, and later, she was your partner in coping with their illnesses. She gives you what no one else in the world can give you – a lasting connection to your childhood and family. Your sister shares your memories of all the important people and events in your life even after everyone else is gone. She's the one person you have for your entire life.

Some women are actually blessed with that perfect sister, and they can't imagine life without her. But for me, the reality doesn't live up to the ideal. I don't have anything in common with my adult sisters. In fact, as sad and harsh as this may seem, I would pick neither for a friend. I'm not sure why, but we keep experiencing upsetting conflicts and disappointments. I guess I struggle with why my sister relationships don't match my expectations or the "cultural ideal" - but in reality I know that it is my expectations that are the problem.

For some reason, I keep expecting that my sisters and I will have the kind of relationship that would do Pollyanna proud - the kind of relationship that I suggested above. But the reality is that whilst my two younger sisters are very close, I am the odd one out. They phone each other and visit each other regularly and have a close relationship. And this makes me jealous. It makes me sad. I feel excluded. Now, you would think that at my age (44 next month), I would be well and truly over this kind of nonsense, but it hurts ... it really hurts. I understand that I have taken a completely different life path to them both, and I have fundamentally different life philosophies, ideals, values and beliefs. So, yes that sets us apart. As does the fact that geography separates me from them - they live in the same state, whereas I live in a different part of the country and have done so for most of the 27 years since I left home.

But, for some reason instead of accepting that those differences set us apart and accepting that we will never have the close relationship that I crave, I have booked a ticket and a hire car and will be travelling to visit with them next weekend. No doubt there will be "issues" - snide remarks, sideways looks, strongly voiced opinions on my parenting and career choices, whispered conversations just out of earshot - and I will end up in tears and wonder why I keep putting myself in this situation time after time, expecting different results.

I know I need to accept that which I cannot change - and I can in a lot of other areas in my life - but I'm really struggling with this one.

Be A Voice for Tibet

2008-04-19T17:37:00.007+10:00

China’s leaders are determined to use the Beijing Olympics to build international esteem. Six months out from the opening ceremony they are facing the prospect of widespread condemnation over their human rights and environmental record. But there is still time for China to save itself the embarrassment. Constructive steps towards the resolution of the Tibet issue would be a good start.

In Australia, with a recent change in government and the Dalai Lama on his way to Sydney in June, there are new opportunities for us to play a role in reinvigorating the China-Tibet dialogue.

A few people have questioned why I am so passionate about this situation; here are a few facts that I hope speak for themselves:

A Brutal Occupation:

For centuries Tibet, a high altitude plateau between China and India, remained remote from the rest of the world with a widely dispersed population of nomads, farmers, monks and traders. Tibet had its own national flag, its own currency, a distinct culture and religion, and controlled its own affairs. In 1949, following the foundation of the Chinese Communist state, the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) invaded Tibet and soon overpowered its poorly equipped army and guerrilla resistance.

China’s actions in Tibet over the past 50 years have created a climate of fear that still continues today - torture and imprisonment for peaceful protest, and economic plans that discriminate against Tibetans, threatening their unique identity. The PLA maintains a strong presence in Tibet and China’s military control is expected to increase with the 2006 opening of the Qinghai-Tibet Railway.

Human Rights Abuses:

Human rights conditions in Tibet remain dismal. The Chinese government continues to violate the basic human rights of Tibetans as provided by both the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights and China’s own constitution. These include the rights to freedom of thought, conscience and religion, freedom of speech, freedom of movement and freedom from arbitrary arrest and detention.

Despite China’s assurance to the International Olympic Committee that the awarding of the Olympics to Beijing would bring about improvements in human rights, there is now robust evidence that the human rights situation in Tibet is deteriorating. In 2007, the Tibetan Centre for Human Rights and Democracy reported a three-fold increase in arbitrary arrests and detention since 2006.

Religious Persecution:

Tibetan Buddhism has been fundamental to Tibetan culture for over one thousand years, shaping the very fabric of traditional Tibetan society. It is implicated in everything from environmental management and education to social cohesion and national identity.

Systematic repression of Tibetan culture along with forced “patriotic re-education” continues to take a heavy toll on the people and environment of Tibet. Despite a growth in international support for the Dalai Lama and Tibet, the Chinese government has intensified it’s attacks on him. Tibetans including, high-ranking Lamas, are commonly forced to publicly denounce the Dalai Lama.

Many Tibetans wanted to celebrate the awarding of the US Congressional Gold Medal to the Dalai Lama in October 2007. However, even simple cultural gestures, such as the burning of incense and whitewashing of monastery walls, were swiftly halted and prohibited by local police. The Drepung Monastery in Lhasa was surrounded by armed troops and road blocks set up to prevent news of events from spreading. Under Chinese rule, the education made available in Tibet actively suppresses Tibetan religious and linguistic identity.

According to a 2008 report, the Chinese authorities in Tibet are making life difficult for Tibetans who are not fluent in Mandarin by passing laws to minimise teaching of Tibetan in schools and by replacing Tibetan language with Chinese language in many spheres of public life. As a result, many Tibetans send their children on the dangerous journey across the Himalayas to study at Tibetan schools in India.

Environmental Concerns:

With an average elevation of 14,000 feet, the Tibetan Plateau is the highest and largest mountain plateau on earth. Towering above the vast Eurasian landmass, Tibet is the source of major rivers feeding India, China, Bangladesh and Southeast Asia. Exploitative and unsustainable development policies, coupled with escalating impacts from climate change, are exacting an alarming toll on this fragile and environmentally strategic region.

Under Chinese rule, traditional nomadic pastoralism has been replaced by intensive industrial agriculture unsuited to the arid conditions of the Tibetan Plateau. Over-grazing, soil erosion and the steady drying-out of the plateau due to climate change are turning the vast rangelands of Tibet to desert. These trends are destroying Tibet’s traditional rural economy and reducing the productivity of one of the world’s most important rangelands.

With this once remote and inaccessible region now linked to China’s rail network, extraction of copper, gold, iron, chromite and other minerals required to keep China’s burgeoning economy afloat is accelerating, bringing with it a myriad of new environmental challenges. New large-scale infrastructure projects and a ten-fold increase in visitor numbers over the last decade are placing further strains on Tibet’s environment and culture.

Economic & Social Development:

While China’s central government has spent billions of Yuan on new infrastructure in Tibet, urban-centric investment strategies, focussed on integrating Tibet into the Chinese economy, have in many instances reduced the wellbeing and prospects of Tibetans.

Coercive displacement of nomadic communities from areas designated for industrial agriculture is driving more and more Tibetans to the cities. Unable to speak Mandarin and lacking familiarity with Chinese work culture, they are unable to gain employment in new growth industries such as tourism.

With the completion of the Beijing-Lhasa railway, a new wave of skilled economic migrants, lured by high wages, is further reducing employment prospects for Tibetans. Education initiatives for “closing the gap” between Tibetans and Han Chinese are grossly insufficient. Official figures up to 2005 do not show any improvement in education levels, with 45% of Tibetans still illiterate and only 11.5%having the benefit of secondary education. These combined trends have entrenched a pattern of “ethnically exclusionary growth” in Tibet, resulting in by far the widest rich-poor divide of anywhere in China. While there are many winners among foreign investors and Han Chinese, Tibetans are being progressively marginalised.

Quite simply, there has never been a more important time to be campaigning for Tibet.

China's Perfect Zero

2008-04-19T17:15:00.002+10:00

Click here to view an animated short film revealing why China needs more than great athletes to win gold: China's Perfect Zero

Intenational Council of Manlaws presents.....

2008-04-18T09:16:00.004+10:00

At the risk of offending the entire sisterhood out there :), I would like to present The International Council of Manlaws 30 Rules for Blokes......if you don't at least smile at a few of these, your sense of humour chip is seriously AWOL !

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a buck's night may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

A) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
B) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
C) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (i.e ., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28. There is no reason for blokes to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

2008-04-10T18:26:00.002+10:00

Sometimes kids you have just have to smile despite yourself :)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto !! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat - use the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

8. Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

FINAL THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS .

The Beijing Olympics ... A Catalyst for Real Change or a just another major Sporting Event ?

2008-04-06T15:21:00.008+10:00

Although given my current work situation, I am not as active as I would like to be, I am a member of the Australian Tibet Council (ATC) The ATC works to promote the human rights and democratic freedoms of the Tibetan people. ATC is an independent, non-profit Australian organisation funded solely by members and supporters.

ATC undertakes a range of campaigns and advocacy work including promoting support for negotiations between the Dalai Lama and the Chinese government to reach a just resolution to the Tibet situation; promotion of religious and cultural freedom and human rights, particularly in the case of Tibetan political prisoners; and the protection of the Tibetan environment and the prevention of the inappropriate exploitation of Tibetan resources.

The Chinese government continues to violate the basic human rights of Tibetans as provided by both the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights and China’s own constitution. These include the rights to freedom of thought, conscience and religion, freedom of speech, freedom of movement and freedom from arbitrary arrest and detention.

Despite China’s assurance to the International Olympic Committee that the awarding of the Olympics to Beijing would bring about improvements in human rights, there is now robust evidence that the human rights situation in Tibet is deteriorating. In 2007, the Tibetan Centre for Human Rights and Democracy reported a three-fold increase in arbitrary arrests and detention since 2006.

In September 2006, Western mountaineers witnessed an unprovoked attack by Chinese border patrols on a group of 75 unarmed Tibetans fleeing Tibet for Nepal which resulted in the death of 17 year old nun Kelsang Namtso. In late 2007, Runggye Adak, a 52-year-old nomad, was sentenced to eight years in prison for simply calling publicly for the return of the Dalai Lama during the popular Lithang horse festival in Eastern Tibet.

China promised increased media freedoms ahead of the Beijing Olympics. However, major media watchdogs, including Reporters Without Borders and the World Association of Newspapers, have reported increased restrictions on foreign media, intimidation of journalists and heightened internet censorship.

I don't want to undermine the Olympic Games, nor does the ATC, but given the spotlight of the world media is currently on China, there has never been a better time for the rest of the free world to put pressure on the Chinese government to end their human rights abuses. If you are interested, and share our concerns, please click on this link and make your voice heard by signing the petition - make these Olympic Games more than about sport; make it a catalyst for change.

Pay It Forward

2008-04-05T08:08:00.006+11:00

I've taken this straight from the Blog of the Divine Ms MG; it sounded like so much fun I decided I wanted to play too. The rules of this fabulous game are set out below:

The rule for Pay It Forward -The first three people to join the challenge on my blog will receive a gift handmade by me. I will have 30 days to make and send your gift. You must then do a post on your blog inviting 3 people to join your Pay It Forward and receive a handmade gift from you. Sounds easy enough right. The first three people who leave a comment saying they want to join will receive something made by me.

Now folks, don't get toooo excited - I'm not one for 'making things', so you can expect the unexpected :) But, the first three people to leave a comment here will receive something personal that I have "made" myself (and no Tex, you can't play and get dinner made for you tonight - family are specifically precluded from entry :)

Okay people, get on board ... I will happily post the items overseas .... this is going to be fun.

It's Not Fashionable but.....

2008-04-04T22:05:00.008+11:00

....I am absolutely passionate about my AFL footy. I have followed the Essendon Bombers AFL Football Team for 40 years and there is nothing (ok, very little) more I love than sitting in the stands of the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) watching my Bombers beating an opposition team (especially if that team happens to be Collingwood, which incidentally is Tex's team !) or if I can't be there to watch the action live, I will sit in front of the TV and watch the game. While I would prefer to watch my team, it doesn't even have to be them - I will sit and watch any AFL teams play (although I must admit I do struggle to watch interstate teams ie. those not from my home state of Victoria) !

Boys, if you are not an Aussie Rules fan, get on board ! It is a game of consummate skill, characterised by athleticism and high marking:

....and a bit of biff:

Girls, even if you cannot stand sport, there is something here for you too:

Bomber Boys in surf:

and the gorgeous Matty Lloyd:

I guess my fanaticism was borne out of being the eldest of three daughters of a sports-mad father who did not have any sons. So, I became the tom-boy of the family, getting footballs, cricket sets and blundstone boots while my sisters got barbie dolls. I'm much more feminine these days, but still love my footy in the Winter and cricket in the summer.

Fortunately, I live in a home with other footy fanatics - Tex loves his Magpies and my son plays AFL and follows his Sydney Swans with equal fervour :)

I bloody love footy season !!

A Quick Word On....."The Talk"

2008-03-29T21:48:00.004+11:00

Every child at some point should be made to endure "The Talk": those few carefully chosen sentences we use to explain to our offspring where they came from and what brand of absurdity is happening to their developing bodies. Modern parenting commentators like to suggest that The Talk, done carefully and honestly, can in fact prove a rewarding experience for parent and child. This is so not true. The Talk will go badly for you, just as it did for countless thousands before you.

You will not bond with your child, nor will you impart anything greater than mutual embarrassment and disgust. Not only will you be forced to describe an activity that, minus dimmed lighting and a 'come hither' expression, must sound an awful lot like a fairly misguided game of "Twister"; you will also leave your children with little doubt that you engaged in this bizarre ritual on at least one occasion in the past.

Far preferable to The Talk, is the "Here, Read This" method of sexual education, in which a sufficiently ambiguous cartoon picture is worth a thousand words. This approach lets just enough information fall through the cracks so that no teenager could possibly approach sex with any sense of confidence or haste.

This was certainly the rationale favoured by my parents' generation. Not wanting to stumble over terms that sound like obscure casserole ingredients, mums like mine instead handed over Where Did I Come From ?and instructed us to go forth and read.

There is nothing wrong with this approach. Although I did initially fear it was my parents' way of telling me I was adopted, I quickly came to realise that this was in fact the evidence I needed to prove that they had once liked each other.

Whatever your chosen medium, whatever your timing and whichever pathetic excuse you choose to introduce this unnaturally earnest trans-generational conversation to your offspring, simply remember that it pays to approach The Talk much like The Act itself: minimal build-up, ambiguous penetration, zero follow-up and fleeting satisfaction. Any questions ??

(image from: thecreatorspalette)

Minority Rule - Yeah !

2008-03-22T05:32:00.005+11:00

Okay, this is going to be a little melodramatic, a teeensy bit tongue in cheek, and a heck of a lot emotive. But seriously kids, I'm fed up....sick and freaking tired of those who prize rules and legislation above all else and who place limits on others and refuse to give them a voice. I'm angry that those people hide behind empty meaningless words which they do not understand - like morals, social standards, ethics, social behaviour and political correctness. Those same people who have the gall to intimidate others in the name of rank or social structure, or 'righteousness' - a timeless word that belongs to everyone. It's too bad it does not unite with 'tolerance' and dance with 'individuality' and blend with 'acceptability' and stay away from 'justice' - an obscure word that has legitimacy to the one who applies it, and no useful function to the one to whom it is being applied.

The majority-rule society has produced heartache and intolerance; when all throughout this time, members of the minority have made an impact. For better or for worse, it is the daring few who have shaped this so called majority-rule society. Inventors, pioneers, radicals and visionaries have ventured from the lonely and costly camp of 'minority' only to be obstructed by majority-rule concepts that tolerate inferiority, hinder progress, harbour injustice, and pose limits within the status quo.

What is sad and insulting is that the majority basks in benefits and riches that were originally afforded by individuals who sacrificed their sanity, their freedom and their life. I am fed up with and frustrated by the inefficiency, inaccuracy, inconsistency and untruth I witness every day within bureaucracies.

I acknowledge that nothing is ever final, that possibilities are endless, that life is never simple, that a rolling stone does gather moss, that a watched kettle does boil and that those who cry last, cry the most. And most of all, I know I have the potential to stretch boundaries; the creativity to break new ground; the vision to shape new futures; the determination to realise my dreams; and the courage to break out of this majority rule typecast. And, damned if I'm not going to try - even if it means I'll have to infuriate the establishment along the way .... Let's kick some majority arse fellow minority-rulers :)

Happy Days

2008-03-20T22:20:00.001+11:00

Nah, still got nuthin'. I'm hoping the freakin' Easter Bunny will bring back my missing mojo - in the meantime Bloggers, have yourselves a fab weekend :)

Happy Easter Punters

2008-03-18T18:43:00.002+11:00

I'm back from my week away, but I seem to have lost my blogging mojo.....I've got nuthin'. But, just wanted to say "Happy Easter" to everyone anyway :)

A Job By Any Other Name

2008-03-09T21:14:00.003+11:00

"I have been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves"

Bruce Grocott (1940- ), The London Observer, 1988

It was a rude awakening indeed to discover that the primary source of my parent's misery (work) was the same life goal they wanted for me !! Could all the learning and angst and preparation of childhood be for this ? A job ? (Why yes, my child, it is. And you'd better just start thinking about what you're going to be when you grow up. After all, it's pre-school next year and you don't want to be the only child there without a vocational calling.) But, onto that treadmill I hopped some 27 years ago, and like a hamster on a wheel, it's been a continuous cycle ever since.....

So, assuming the sun comes up tomorrow, it's off to work I go....for a week of 14 hour days at an interstate location - and all without access to computers from which to Blog. So, I wish all my Blog Mates a week filled with (virtual) sunshine and happy times. I will look forward to checking in next weekend :)

Don't Worry, What's Happy ?

2008-03-07T18:37:00.002+11:00

My friend Sarah over on A Whole Lotta Nothin' recently wrote a damn fine post on Happiness and it got me thinking. There is so much emphasis on the quest to "be happy". But keep pushing people to better themselves and you'll only serve to remind them how crap they are. Push the bar higher, we'll only feel lower to the ground. So, what's so wrong with us anyway ? Is everyone else really so much happier and more successful than we are ? Are we truly just one of the unlucky ones ? Or does it simply look that way from the perennially slow check out lane ?

What do we even know about happy and successful ? Is that pleasurable moment boys when you knock the top off your sixth beer during Friday Night Footy really happiness ? Or does it just smell like it is ? Is success something that can be measured by money or status ? Then where does that leave Fred Hollows ? Anyone who's helped save humanity without sending them an invoice ?

The point is, if we knew what happy and successful really were, we wouldn’t be constantly chasing them, dodging them, meditating on them, studying them, worskshopping them and generally suspecting that everyone bar us has them. We'd have pinned them down, toasted the spoils and organised a testimonial dinner by now. Game over.

But of course, the real appeal of happy and successful is their sheer elusiveness. They're always but one more holiday, two Lotto wins, and three self-help books away. All we do know about happy and successful is that we're supposed to be chasing them. For that is what we've always been told - by our parents, our teachers, our mentors, magazines and movies - since Day One. Try harder kids ! Study longer, reach further, jump higher ! Come one, happy and successful can't be too far away now. You won't get them standing around pulling your sisters hair, you great dork.

We think we are missing out on something. But, missing out on what ? When was the last time someone who wasn't on smack came up to you with an idiotic grin on their face and said, "I'm blissfully happy and wildly successful ! I've got everything I ever wanted and more ?" Or even, "You know, I'm frequently satisfied with various aspects of life and I'm not presently in jail. Could it be that I'm happy and successful?".

I’m guessing, not recently. In reality, none of us knows what happy and successful really are or precisely where our hopes and our realisations might have already intersected. All we do know is what we've been led to believe so far, which is that giving us this existentialist struggle for ideals that are by definition always out of reach, equates to settling. This simply sets us up for a prolonged series of disappointments that we come to think of as 'life' - you know, it wasn't meant to be easy !!

What if an alternative perspective enabled you to keep a better focus on the things that matter, the things that don't, and the things that probably do, but are really too much bloody hassle ? What if there was a fourth window on "Play School" that made the ordinary among us look brave and strong and the high-flying supermen and superwomen look reckless and just plain silly ?

Here's a final thought punters.... what if okay was really okay ?

I've Often Wondered.....

2008-03-05T20:21:00.002+11:00

....exactly what it is that Meatloaf won't do for love ??? I mean, he'll do anything for love, but he won't do ....."that" !

So, punters ... any clues as to what "that" is ??

I'll be awarding a prize for the best entry (ok, no I won't....but I thought that might entice people to respond:) How lame...)

Parenthood - It's Not All Beer and Skittles

2008-03-03T21:23:00.002+11:00

But, parenting does come with its bonuses. For a start, there is that amazing period of unconditional love that immediately precedes a baby's discovery that nipples come in plastic varieties too. There's the day that your child wins his or her first grand final in their chosen team sport - on of the best big-heart moments you'll ever feel. And, there's the day they painstakingly select for you the best nursing home available for the price.

But, it's not all beer and skittles folks. Without nobbling the Federal Government's earnest push that having several children is something other than a long and tedious journey of mundane and thankless self-sacrifice that no amount of cheap lavender body lotion on Mother's Day could ever be worth, it's only right that I set you punters straight. In answer to a recent weekend newspaper article trumpeting the "Eight Surprising Ways That Kids Make You Healthy", here is the mediocre low-down"

You will laugh more: Actually, this is quite true. Parenthood often does make you laugh uproariously and often. Unfortunately, it's usually an inopportune moments, like in the middle of a job interview when the prospective employer mentions that your position entails a lot of overtime and would that be a problem for you ? NO, of course not. I mean ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, HA, HAAA, HAAAAAAA !!!

You'll get the best workout: Also true to a degree. Certainly, in between chasing your arse, running out of excuses, skipping over the rude bits in a video, springing for other people's kids at McDonald's and jumping to conclusions (My lipstick is missing: I bet the lounge room is sporting a new mural), you could become one of the most active people you know.

Your love will grow stronger: Naturally. In the absence of sex, one tends to focus on the finer points of love, like waving to each other across the dinner table and buying milk and bread on the way home without prompting.

Kids enrich your life: The subtext here is that kids introduce honesty, perspective and fun into a previously shallow life. Hmmm, sleeping in uninterrupted, lazy mornings in bed, going out til all hours in the morning, spontaneously deciding to take a trip down the coast, eating toast for dinner instead of cooking vegetables - yep, sounds heavenly ... um, I mean shallow...

Kids give your purpose: Whether that comes before or after they give you headlice, I can't be sure, but no doubt it's worth waiting for.

Mothers have a decreased risk of breast cancer: Apparently, if a woman has a child between the ages of twenty and thirty, her risk of breast cancer is halved. Could this be because her breasts are only half as big after weaning ?

You will eat better: Well, yes. Through the responsibility of parenting, you will learn to cook more vegetables. You will also learn to dispose of them quite efficiently at the end of each mealtime, and you will learn that kids, like adults, love a good pizza.

Kids make you super-cool: How this translates to being happier and healthier I'm not sure, but I have to admit that only through having a child did I learn that Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson are actually three different people, and that fashion wise, ground-in dirt is the new black. All of which should prove very handy one day when I least expect it.

(Of course folks, this has just been a bit of fun in response to the nonsense of the article. It annoys me when people suggest that being a parent is all sunshine and light. It has been at once, the easiest and the most difficult thing I have ever done. My life has been, and continues to be, full of unexpected delights because I am a mum to Zach. Yes there have been lots of difficult times but there has never, ever been a time that I questioned my decision to become a parent of one. Of all the things I have ever done in my life, and no doubt of all the things still do do, raising my son is my single most important acheivment and infinitely the most rewarding - I love you Zach) xx

C'mon People - Lighten Up !

2008-03-02T14:04:00.007+11:00

I've noticed a few of my Blog mates have been feeling a bit pissy, a bit down, a bit cranky or just in a bit of a funk of late. As for me, I'm feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed in my new job, and finding not all people are playing nice in the sand-pit with me. So, in a feeble attempt to lighten things up a bit, I suggest we all download one of these mood badges every day for the next week, and substitute it for our employee name tags - and proudly proclaim what we've been dying to say for ages .... Go on, I double dare ya - let's mess with their heads :)

(I wish I could credit someone with these, but they were sent to me by a colleague - they've been around forever, so many of you will have already seen them - but they are still worth at least a smile :)

There's a few special ones for my Blog Girlfriends....

But I've added a few generic ones that the boys can use too .....

And just because I think clowns are evil (especially since reading and watching Stephen King's "IT"), I'll throw in a couple more ....

Love, Compassion, Happiness

2008-03-01T18:56:00.001+11:00

"Love, compassion, and concern for others are real sources of happiness. With these in abundance, you will not be disturbed by even the most uncomfortable circumstances. If you nurse hatred, however, you will not be happy even in the lap of luxury. Thus, if we really want happiness, we must widen the sphere of love"

The Dalia Lama (I promise, this is My Last Post from him :)

Kids Books - 2008 Style

2008-03-01T17:54:00.002+11:00

"Once upon a time, there was a little pony called Neddy who couldn't run very fast, so his owner sent him to the factory where he was minced up and made into glue. The End"

Tex Tagged Me - Book Meme !

2008-02-28T20:33:00.003+11:00

Tex (aka Mr-I-Hate-Memes)tagged me to do a freaking Meme today....so here goes:

Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book with more than 123 pages.
2. Go to page 123 in the book.
3. Find the first 5 sentences.
4. Post the NEXT 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people.

Taken from the book, "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, Chapter 10, "Don't Be A Pussy":

If you do decide to partake in a vice item after thirty days, it cannot be out of weakness or for a lack of preparation. You should never be somewhere and just say, "Fuck It". It should be a calculated, scheduled, premeditated choice".

Not everyone enjoys Meme's as much as Tex, so I won't comply with instruction #5 :)

The First Day

2008-02-26T21:50:00.004+11:00

I've recently started a new job - same company, different site, completely different focus. And, frankly, I'm amazed that anyone ever starts a job at all when you consider the horror of The First Day - those inexplicably cruel first 8 hours of a new job. The federal government would do well to scratch beneath the surface of unemployment and find that all those 'lazy good-for-nothings' are actually highly motivated, educated people rendered foetal by the prospect of The First Day at a new workplace.

The First Day collects every awkward and unpleasant emotion that one is capable of experiencing without wetting themselves, wraps them in a half-price suit, and presents the finished ensemble to a band of strange faces whose collective expression says plainly, "We were hoping for the pretty chick who was interviewed on Wednesday or the funny guy who we saw on Friday".

The First Day leaves for dead the discomfort of one's first day of school because certain types of behaviour have become socially unacceptable between the two events. It's no longer cool to cry uncontrollably, to run back to the car or to bury oneself under pillows in the reading corner. There's no kind hearted teacher around (don't be taken in by the welcoming grin of the HR manager) to blow your nose or to sit beside you when no-one wants to have lunch with you.

And adults can be even more cruel than school kids. Once they've formed their little cliques within an office, you can circle around the periphery until your pen spontaneously combusts - no one gives a fuck.

Why don't they care ? Because they're First Day graduates ! They've done the deed, felt the fear, scorched the demons and moved up in the line. They're not New Guy anymore, because YOU are. Now it's your sorry turn to find the toilet all by yourself.

Sure, you could always ask someone for a little early guidance and direction, but there lies a dangerous path. What if you asked The Wrong Person ? For the uninitiated, The Wrong Person within a workplace is the one who will unwittingly tar you with the brush of uncoolness. This person is broadly disliked and avoided, and usually with some justification. They may be a work-shirker, a buck-passer, an arse-kisser, or maybe they simply smell. Whatever the case, they're bad news and will drag you to the bottom of the heap faster than you can say internal transfer.

There is, of course, a beautifully mediocre solution to avoiding The First Day, and that is to skip it entirely by calling in sick and rocking up on the second day. no-one would accuse you of pulling a sickie so early in the piece; in fact, they'll probably feel compassion that you should have experienced such a shaky start to your new career (memo to self - next time I develop a DVT, make sure it coincides with The First Day). They may even take you under their wings and invite you to weekend barbecues. Many months later, you can humorously reveal over a number of drinks how you deliberately avoided The First Day and went to the movies instead. The Office Legend is born !!

Where There's Smoke .... there's Dumbness

2008-02-25T19:46:00.004+11:00

While I'm on health matters, I feel compelled to touch briefly upon the issue of smoking. I'm sorry, but it is one of the dumbest things a person can do. Smoking claims more human lives daily than text-messaging drivers, yet no amount of rotting lung pictures will curb their ways.

The answer, for the sake of the human race, is to sack all the BMW-driving ad people paid to conjure up images of fetid body organs and instead fork out a far more mediocre sum of money to an advertising campaign that embraces the more subtle side of ordinary. Behold a new generation of cigarette-packet wake-up calls:

WARNING: Smoking produces unsightly rectangular bulges in your shirt pockets and trousers.

WARNING: Smoking outside buildings makes you a captive audience for street sellers, religious zealots and bums wanting money (for cigarettes).

WARNING: Smoking seriously limits your first impression prospects with potential bed partners - seriously kids, you are not going to get a root if your breath, clothes and hair smell like a filthy ashtray.

WARNING: Smoking makes you look like an addict. And seriously, that's about as attractive as socks with sandals.

WARNING: Smoking will hinder your career prospects, mainly because your non-smoking workmates don't actually appreciate picking up the slack caused by your frequent twenty-minute disappearing acts. Sometimes they even call you the 'fat lazy bastard downstairs again'.

WARNING: All smokers cough like old men sleeping in bus shelters.

WARNING: Smoking causes you to assume permanent awkward hand poses and finger gestures, with or without cigarettes within smoking distance, turns your fingers yellowy-brown and your nails soon resemble the texture of a gnarly horses hoof.

WARNING: You do smell bad. NO, really, you reek.

WARNING: Smoking makes you the enemy of large blokes called firemen.

WARNING: 19,000 people like you died of a smoking-related disease in this country last year. Oh, but you're different, aren't you ?

WARNING: What are we going to say at your funeral ? That you went before your time ? That your death came as a terrible shock to us all ? HA ! Bring on the "I told you so's" !!!

(Okay, I'm now standing in front of you smokers with a bloody great target on my chest, so feel free to take pot-shots back at me :) (I do a shed-load of things others would no doubt consider very dumb)

I'm HOT !

2008-02-24T21:14:00.002+11:00

Watch out blokes, this will be TMI for you to handle - one strictly for the girls only...After a surgical hysterectomy and oophorectomy 2 years ago as a cancer prophylactic, I was plunged overnight into instant and acute menopause. I suffered intense symptoms within 6 hours of the surgery and was prescribed HRT by the surgeon. Since this time, I have been asymptomatic and apart from the freedom experienced from an absence of menses, I have not noticed any change to my mood or my lifestyle. Well, that was until I developed a DVT a month ago and because it is a high risk factor for blood clots, my specialist stopped my HRT immediately. And, I'll never be able to take it - or any plant estrogen - again. Since going cold turkey, my menopause symptoms have returned with a vengeance and I am struggling to deal with them. I feel old, I feel useless, I feel out of control .... I feel my body has let me down. I'm only 43 and I did not bank on dealing with this stuff at my age.

Insight from the Dalai Lama Pt3: Perspective

2008-02-22T06:16:00.001+11:00

"Every day the media reports incidents of terrorism, crime, and aggression. I have never been to a country where tragic stories of death and bloodshed did not fill the newspapers and airwaves.... But the overwhelming majority of the human race does not behave destructively; very few of the five billion people on this planet actually commit acts of violence. Most of us prefer to be as peaceful as possible"

Insight from the Dalai Lama Pt2: Serenity

2008-02-20T21:24:00.000+11:00

"If a person's basic state of mind is serene and calm, then it is possible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful experience. On the other hand, if someone is suffering from depression, anxiety, or any form of emotional distress, then even if he or she happens to be enjoying physical comforts, he will not really be able to experience the happiness that those could bring"

Please - Act Your Age Not Your Shoe Size !

2008-02-19T18:41:00.002+11:00

Although my biological age is 43, I frequently forget 'cos in my head I'm still that funky 25year old from yesteryear (WTF ??? Who says yesteryear other than old people ??) Anyway, I get lots of frights when I see myself in the reflections of shop windows because I think, who's that ? Yikes, it's me !! So, as a result, there are those times when I'm out shopping or getting dressed to go out and I have to give pause and consider..."Am I too old to wear this top/those boots/these jeans/that groovy necklace ?" You see kids, I have a seriously morbid fear of being thought of as "Mutton-Dressed-as-Lamb" (or MDAL). Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, the MDAL phenomenon rears its seriously ugly head an older woman tries to get away dressing like she’s in her twenties - or scarily, even younger :)

Fortunately, I have a 15year old son who helps to keep me honest in this regard. No question, Zach likes his mum to look cool, but if I step over the MDAL line in the sand, he let's me know. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was going to watch him play cricket and was dressed in jeans, boots and a Green Day t-shirt. He looked at me and said, are you going dressed like that ? I said, ummm yes. He said, the jeans look good, but I'm not so sure about the t-shirt mum, no offence..... (even though I was the one who took him to the freakin' Green Day concert :) But, no offence taken, offending t-shirt off, another found that passes the test, and we are out the door. Zach often tells me that I look good and he likes it when his friends tell him he has a groovy mum, and so when he suggests in his tactful, sensitive, diplomatic way that perhaps I've started to MDAL up a storm - I take note and take immediate action.

Perhaps I should hire him out to give advice to those MDAL victims in Sydney ?? 'Cos, over the weekend I was out shopping and a middle-aged woman walked passed me wearing uber-trendy denim jeans, stiletto heels, a breast-hugging, bling-encrusted t-shirt with the word "Princess" emblazoned in rhinestones, and hoop earrings that were large enough to shoot basketballs through. Now, I need to clarify that this woman would have easily been in her late 40s, a time in one's live when you could be viewed as a classy dame, but seriously this woman looked like a pro (and I don't mean as in athlete :) During the evening, I spied yet another similarly-aged woman who was wearing a short pleather (not even real leather - double ugh) skirt and a flimsy top that was barely containing her obviously fake, rock-hard bowling-ball tits. Her hair was so chemically damaged it looked like a haystack and her skin was so tanned by the sun that it looked like the leather from my grandfather's wallet. Although both these women were quite attractive, that's absolutely no excuse for them wearing things that could be found in the Myer Miss Shop clearance rack, Valley Girl or Supre. Girls, PLEASE don’t do this to yourself. It just makes you look so sad and pathetic that you’re holding on to something you had a long time ago. Hey, I can understand a girl's need to remain cool and hip as the years go by, but that doesn't mean you have to look desperate !

Older women can still look hot and sophisticated by wearing clothes that suits her age. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to dress appropriately. Lastly, welcome your more "mature years" with open arms. Some of the classiest people still look sharp despite their age. Learn to work with what you have and don't try to hold on to your youth by dressing like a cast member for the next instalment of "High School Musical."

War Games, circa 1995

2008-02-18T19:31:00.013+11:00

The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995 between a U.S. Navy ship and British authorities off the Scottish North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on the 10/10/95:

BRITISH: Please divert your course 15degrees to the South to avoid collision.

U.S. NAVY: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

U.S. NAVY: This is the Captain of U.S. Navy Ship, I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: Negative, I say again, you will have to divert your course.

U.S. NAVY: This is the Captain of the Aircraft Carrier, USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15degrees North, that's 15degrees North, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

BRITISH: WE ARE A LIGHTHOUSE. FUCK OFF !

My Goal in Life

2008-02-18T18:35:00.003+11:00

My principal Goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am :)

Insight from the Dalai Lama Pt1 - Inner Peace and Happiness

2008-02-17T19:51:00.003+11:00

"As human beings, we all want to be happy and free from misery.....We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness"

Insight from the Dalai Lama

Finally ... Freedom from the Myth of Superwoman

2008-02-16T20:29:00.003+11:00

Or... Why the Have-it-All Woman has decided she doesn't actually want it all.....

Yes, I admit it; I was one of those women a few years ago who bought into this myth; no, more than that, I swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Yes, the strong, feminist women who went before me told me I could have it all - naturally then I thought I could have a high paying, high profile, high stress job and seamlessly and concurrently combine it with studying for two Masters Degrees, raising a son as a single parent, ensuring that I had the house as neat as the home in pages of Home Beautiful, that my son had fresh vegies and fruit and a wholesome cooked meal every night, that I got to the gym four nights a week, to the netball court once a week and to the P&C meetings at my son's school on a regular basis. Funnily enough, my health suffered as did my relationships with family and friends....I wasn't happy with myself and I wasn't a fun person to be around.

Now, I love curling up with a good CSI-type thriller, but I used to get an enormous attack of the guilts if I read one of these novels or a trashy gossip mag instead of a text book. Yep folks, for a while there, this girl next door got a little too carried away with trying to emulate the picture-perfect lives of the Modern Day Superwomen I used to read about.

Oh, sure....it's oh-so-fucking easy to have four kids and a stellar career, while looking immaculate, saving the world and maintaining a steamy love life with a fellow high achiever - when you've got millions of dollars and an army of assistants, nannies, chefs and personal trainers at your disposal (not naming any names.....Brangelina !)

Who was I kidding trying to do all that ? And, more importantly, why would I want to when spending hours hanging out and riding my motorbike with my husband or laughing with my son while wearing trackie daks and a holey t-shirt is infinitely more rewarding ?

So, I'm on a quest ..... a quest to give up the guilt; trying to do everything perfectly just leads to frustration and sets myself up for failure and misery. So, in 2008 I pledge to learn the lost art of delegation and saying no and to stopping doing things out of obligation. Will the world end if I buy rather than bake a cake for my son's school fete ? Does the bookcase really need dusting this very second, or would 30mins spend relaxing with one of the books be more helpful ?

Rather than running around like a headless chook, I'm going to start to take a good hard look at what truly needs to be done today.....then I'm going to do those things the best way I can - but I won't panic if the results are not 100% - and I am going to make time for myself. If I'm happy, then Tex and Zach and others around me will be happy, too.

How Dumb Are We ?

2008-02-16T09:59:00.001+11:00

Recently, a survey by people who care found out what we've known for far too long. (insert country of choice:) are a stupid, stupid people.

54% were able to accurately state how long it takes the Earth to revolve around the sun (One Year)

45% Said Lasers work by focusing sound waves (Light waves, kids, it's what the "L" stands for.)

And it just got better from there.

So the question becomes, in terms of scientific knowledge, How Dumb Are We? Let's find out. Take this scientific test and see just how dumb you really are.

As for me.....You got 8 right. Impressive. Most impressive. Now bark like a dog.

They Just Didn't Think it Through....

2008-02-16T09:50:00.003+11:00

I'm afraid the Jesus Junkies just didn't think this one through.....

Valentine's Day - Hallmark Hype or Consummate Romanticism ?

2008-02-10T20:14:00.000+11:00

"If music be the food of love, play on" - Shakespeare

It’s Valentine's Day next week; the consummate day of love and romance, when lovers across the world celebrate with blood red roses, chocolate hearts, jewellery, cuddly stuffed animals and candlelit dinners for two..... nauseating, isn't it ?!

Though many couples and singles do something special to mark the occasion, almost as many on both sides of the relationship aisle confess to loathing the sugary day of romance and the stress, depression, guilt and disappointment that bubble to the surface when it arrives, maddeningly, year after year.

So, Bloggers, are you one of those people who complain that it's a commercialised holiday created by De Beers, greeting card companies and florists (but ends up buying a box of chocolate hearts for your mate anyway ‘cos you don’t want the hassle not buying a gift will get you …. or is this a sure path to sex ??) Or, do you sincerely, and genuinely, get all doe-eyed and outlay some of your hard-earned on chocolates, flowers, lingerie, diamonds, and stuffed teddy bears in order to demonstrate your love and affection for your partner (or partner wanna-be) ?

Or do you hate it? Do you detest it with a virulent passion ? Do you feel nauseated at the thought of the sappy qualities that characterize 14th Feb ? Are you a bah-humbug, Valentine’s Day scrooge who despises what you say is the corny, forced sentimentalism of a contrived, overly commercialised day ?

Personally, I Valentine’s Day is one of the most annoying and cliché days of the year, seducing people into thinking the way to someone’s heart is through material things. Perhaps that's because I am fortunate enough to be married to a man who not only tells me he loves me, but shows me in countless ways every day that he loves me. (But - and this pains me greatly to admit - I would be a complete liar if I didn't confess that a tiny part of me feels quite envious of those girls who get enormous bouquets of roses delivered to their offices each Feb 14th !)

What about you Bloggers - do you or don't you get with the Valentine's Day Program ??

HEALTH WARNING Stay Away From Doctor Google

2008-02-04T21:36:00.000+11:00

I know, I know, I shouldn't have consulted him - but he's got such a wealth of experience and knowledge at his fingertips,err, well my fingertips and....well.....the bloody local Doctors all seem to have conflicting advice regarding the treatment of my Deep Vein Thrombosis; my case in point:

1. Keep your leg elevated to help with the swelling - but make sure you exercise your limb to prevent further problems; I mean WTF ?? Do I keep still, or move my arse ?

2. Exercise within your pain threshold, but remember, there is a small risk of the clot breaking up and causing a pulmonary embolism if you "over do it" ... define OverDO it you morons....and how do you know that my pain threshold will not cause further damage because I'm tough and it's too high, or fuck things up because I'm a bloody great sook ?

3. Make sure you don't change your diet, eat healthily, but for fucks sake don't eat broccoli, spinach, olive oil, soya products etc.. 'cos they'll mess with your warfarin levels, give a false reading and you could be under/over anti-coagulated and that's very dangerous, life threatening even. Great news for a tofu-eating, broccoli loving chick ... not !

Woohoo ! No, great, that's fabulous news Doc...now fuck off with your contradictory advice, I'm off to consult Dr Google; thanks all the same.

Oops, waaaaay BAD IDEA kids - Dr Google is just lurking to seriously mess with your heads and banish all hopes of sleep (even those freaking measly 5hours you normally get - gone) you may have harboured for tonight. Let's see...

DVT - let's start with the fucker that started all this nonsense, shall we: A pulmonary embolism (PE) happens when a piece of the blood clot from a DVT breaks off and travels through the bloodstream to the lungs. In the lungs it can block a pulmonary artery. This can cause chest pain, shortness of breath or coughing up phlegm tinged with blood. In severe cases it can be fatal. PE can happen hours or even days after the DVT has formed. DVT treatment significantly lowers the risk of this complication, but does not eradicate it completely. = Yay, even with a diagnosis and treatment started, I'm not out of the woods ! Memo to self...put 000 (911 for you others) in my speed dial

Heparin Injections - stabbing those suckers into my stomach twice a day, every day - Watch for these common reactions: change in skin colour or pain around the injection site; fever; chills; runny nose; watering eyes; nausea and vomiting; headache; itchy soles of the feet; osteoporosis; collection of blood
under skin; irregular heart beat; muscular weakness, fatigue and tingling of the hands, feet or tongue; unusual hair loss. = Awesome, I'm going to be fucking bald

Warfarin Tablets - 5mg once a day: Get medical help if you have any of these signs - hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat; skin changes or discoloration anywhere on your body; purple toes or fingers; pain in your stomach, back, or sides; low fever, loss of appetite, dark urine, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes); diarrhoea, fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms; easy bruising or bleeding that will not stop; blood in your urine; black, bloody, or tarry stools; nosebleeds, bleeding gums, coughing up blood; feeling weak or light-headed; sudden headache, confusion, problems with vision, speech, or balance; sudden leg or foot pain; or sudden numbness or weakness, especially on one side of the body; nausea, vomiting, stomach pain; gas and bloating; or hair loss ..... = Fan-Fucking-Tastic I'm going to be FUCKING BALD.

So, clearly even if I live to Blog another day (and we now know that's not a safe bet), I am going to be bald ... and as other women will know, being a bald chick is SO NOT COOL :)

My advice = stay the hell away from this Quack punters.....he's unlicensed and clearly not qualified to hang his shingle anywhere in the real world .... Real Doctors are bad enough, but this bloke is pure Frankenstein evil :)

How Much Is Your Blog Worth ?

2008-02-03T08:27:00.001+11:00

Hmmmm, it's back to work on Monday for me .... apparently my blog is only worth a measly $ 6209.94 !

Even allowing for the USD -v- AUD differential, I'm still a pauper :)

My blog is worth $6,209.94.
How much is your blog worth?

It's a bit hard to read, but click on the box above and see how much your blog is worth :)

I am Woman, hear me snore !

2008-02-01T20:25:00.000+11:00

Seriously people, I am tired...no, wait I am beyond tired and way beyond being pissed off. This latest health "issue" of mine has well and truly kicked me in the arse and I'm over it. I'm in pain and I'm miserable and you bet I'm wallowing at my own private Pity-Party. I'm over trying so bloody hard to live up to (my own mostly) expectations about working, about living, and about eating a more healthy diet (readers of this blog may recollect my no-wheat, no-sugar, no-flour, no-taste eating plan which I've stuck rigidly to for the past 59 days) - for months and months now I've been exercising right and eating right and living right and smiling right and being so damned "good" and look where it's bloody well got me....and so I've been doing some thinking....

Statistically, women are physically healthier specimens than men. Women live longer, and generally when they look like they might be 8 months pregnant, it IS a baby and not a weekly slab of beer. Ironically though, it's the pressure that women put on themselves to look healthier (read: thinner) that sees them fall behind men in the mental health stakes. Women are bloody hopeless slaves to the glossy whims of magazines, forever comparing themselves to airbrushed ideals and pampered celebrities. They fear ordinary and drive themselves to madness in their quest to change every single aspect of that which nature dished up. Men look at George Clooney or Brad Pitt, shrug and order pizza and beer.

Interestingly, many of the so-called beautiful people who women idolise in their quests to change everything about themselves are no happier than your average housewife. In fact, some are downright depressed, disturbed, and damaged by the omnipresent pressure to look good, live well, and eat rarely. Why else is Claudia Schiffer thin enough to disappear when she turns sideways? Why is Cindy Crawford wracked by reports of her husbands cheating? Why do Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell get so nervous around airport sniffer dogs? It seems likely the only uber-gorgeous celebrities who seem genuinely happy have had their smiles painted on by the InStyle Airbrushing Department. Perhaps if female celebrities themselves revolted against the pressure to be ever thinner and younger, the average ordinary woman would follow suit.

Did you know that the latest international figures have revealed that a staggering 82% of working mums (like there is any other kind) survive on less than five hours sleep per night? About 40% would be classified as depressed if, Prozac willing, they had the time to get to the Doctor to be diagnosed. While good make-up does much to hide the modern working-mum's dazed and confused look, the fact remains that most of them are stumbling about from family crisis to committee meeting on little more than a cup of strong coffee and a sloppy 6am kiss from a three year old. That they command 4WD vehicles in supermarket carparks is frankly terrifying.

Men simply don't let themselves get as rundown as and exhausted as women do. Wisely, they allow themselves to concentrate on one thing at a time and consequently (usually) do that one thing rather well. They relax without letting themselves feel guilty about it. They don't trouble themselves about remembering family birthdays and key events. They don't worry about neglecting friends. They trust that women will do enough worrying about the state of their relationship for both of them. They watch entire TV shows all the way through. They sleep for eight hours a night.

Women would do well to follow men's lead (or lack thereof) in this area. They should ignore the ghosts of pioneering feminists baying at their heels. For all that bra-burning achieved, the reality is that modern women have gone and whipped themselves into vicious circles of exhaustion, the high price of which is exacted in their health, their self-esteem and their relationships.

Women need to stop this madness. They need to listen to men when they say, remote in hand "Sit down already. The footy's about to start”! They need to change all the rules of this crazy game called daily life. They need to scream: "I am Woman! Hear me snore! I can't keep running anymore" !!

Whew....off to bed now - phone off the hook, ceiling fan on, ipod on soothing tunes selection....ahhhhhhh - oh fuck !! I completely forgot - Zach has a cricket game at 0800h tomorrow at an oval some 45mins drive from here - quickly start snoring, you only have a few hours to sleep, shit, where are his cricket whites, have they been washed, what about his new boots, will they give him blisters, remember to take bandaids, bloody hell, get some sleep, the alarm will be going off if you don't fucking go to sleep, shit what is that noise, oh hell, the cat's stuck in my wardrobe again, fuck, have they been fed ... Fuuuuuuck !! I forgot to give Banjo his antibiotics tonight, oh hell, I hope his eye doesn't get re-infected now...oh what is that noise, shit it's the bloody shower dripping, gotta get a new washer for the tap...breathe, breathe, Fucking Hell - now what ? I'm not sure I locked the front door.... bloody hell Tex, where are you ???????? Come home soon pleeeeease !!!!!!

What Couldn't YOU Live Without ?

2008-01-31T12:17:00.000+11:00

Okay, this is meant to be a bit of fun people, so let’s set aside the obvious – oxygen, food and water…and, for the sake of making it interesting, let’s also agree to put our spouses, kids and furry kids to one side as well….

Apart from those essentials, what couldn't YOU live without … or put another, less-dramatic way…. What, if it was taken away forever, what would you miss desperately and be thoroughly miserable without ?? (hmmm, wasn’t meant to be this complicated….)

For me it is quite simple – my book and CD collections. I spend an exorbitant amount on both; to me, too many books and too many CDs is never, EVER enough. I don’t watch television at all and am not much of a movie fan, but I can lose myself for hours, for days, in my books and my music. Whilst I love my 80GB ipod, I just can’t get past the joy I get from actually buying and owning the actual CD; yes, they all end up on my ipod, and no, I can’t remember the last time I actually played a CD all the way through (give me ipod on continuous shuffle baby !), but I’ve just got to have them. I also can't remember the last time I actually went shopping without buying at least one book. I am rapidly running out of space to put them all, and so I'm prone to stacking them two and three deep in my bookshelves (which drives Tex spare !), and I have far less time in any one lifetime to ever get to read them all...

Oh, and I seriously hate anybody else messing with my collections - when I came home from work one day and found Tex had re-arranged all my books, according to author and (hell, get me some oxygen) had even regaled some of them to the garage (breathe, breathe....) well, it was almost grounds for a divorce. Or, to find that Zach has taken one of my CDs from it's rightful place and then left it in his room, or (yikes !) left it in his room without putting it back in it's cover....well, let's just say it's never too late to put kids to work in coal mines.

Thankfully, I have my own boy-free sanctuary in our home where only me and my cats are allowed to enter (Tex and Zach by invitation only !!), where I can light my candles and oil burners and sit and read or listen to music – ahhhh, it’s so wonderfully serene (or it would be if Tex didn't play his electric guitar with the amp turned up to 11....but, that'll probably be on his list :)

So…what couldn't you live without ?

How Much is Enough ?

2008-01-31T10:46:00.000+11:00

Money that is....

I've got money invested in stock and in property, and after 25 years in the same company, considerable investment in personal superannuation - and so with all the volatility around the world in these markets, I've been asking myself this question: How much money is enough ? That is, how much money do I really need when I retire, to live the lifestyle that will make me happy....as opposed to what my financial advisor tells me I will need or what societal norms and expectations tell me I should ?

And while I'm at, what is it about money that causes otherwise sensible people to completely lose their heads ? I've seen couples who are passionately in love break up under financial stress; I have friends whose kids are starting out twenty years behind their peers because of huge credit card debts they accumulated in their teens (WTF ??); I work with executives who earn six-figure incomes and yet who can't save a cent; and I know poor retirees who have lost their live savings through various schemes and scams.

I've seen seriously rich people who are seriously miserable, and less well-off people who seem to have found the magical elixir of happiness.

So, how much is enough ? More than any other, this question gets to the heart of the balance between money and the things we want to achieve and enjoy in life. Life's busy and getting increasingly busier. Few people make the time to stop and think: Why have I been working so hard ? What have I been spending my money on ? Does this make me happy ? How much money do I really need ? And, most important of all - Have I really got the balance right ?

I've not got the answers, but I think it's time I grew up and started to search for them.

The Downside to Jetsetting

2008-01-29T19:07:00.001+11:00

Hmmm, yes folks there is a serious downside to jetsetting and today I've discovered - yet again - what that is.... I've been diagnosed with a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) for the second time in 8 months. The first time I had this condition was after 23hours of flying to get to our South American destination in May last year. After experiencing extreme pain in my left calf, I presented to a Peruvian hospital, where the provisional diagnosis was DVT or Phlebitis (they did not do any scans to check) and I was given anti-coagulant medication, taken off my Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and sent on my way with strong painkillers. The language barrier didn't do much to help the Doctor or me, but with the help of a bi-lingual ward clerk, I was advised to check in with my GP upon returning to Australia. So, Tex and I proceeded to go ahead as planned and trek to Machu Picchu. There was pain, but that's what painkillers were for and to be honest, both legs were so sore after the end of each day, I didn't give much more thought to the matter.

When I developed the same symptoms yesterday, I immediately knew what it was. Despite two Doctors telling me that it was merely a soft tissue injury, I demanded to be sent for an ultrasound - at least the second Doctor had the good grace to be embarrassed when presented with the Radiologist's report that said DVT :) The third Doctor I was shunted off to is quite convinced that the first episode was a DVT as well, as it was in almost the same area and the symptoms were identical.

The Good News - I didn't suffer a pulmonary embolism or stroke on the trek up to Machu Picchu last year (the Doctor said more my good fortune than anything else) and because I was diagnosed properly this time, the risk is very low of it happening now. I've been given some stunning white compression bandages to wear, an anti-clotting medication called Clexane which I get to self-inject into my stomach twice a day, and Warfarin to thin my blood (which I will have to take for the next 6 months at least) So, within a few weeks, all will be well.

The Not-so-Good-News - Apart from having to cope with the 'yuk' factor associated with injecting myself and the un-unsexy factor of the compression bandages, I am not to undertake any activities which involve unnecessary risk while taking these medications, because of excessive bleeding and slow clotting that occurs - immediately stopping riding my motorbike was the first order I was given (WTF ????) and I need to carry bandaids and bandages wherever I go in the event I cut myself as even a small cut will take ages to stop bleeding.

Now, the most hideous part ...the fact that because of the risk factors involved, I will never be able to take HRT again - now those ladies who are taking this gear will know what I mean when I say this is the news that makes jumping out planes without a 'chute seem appealing :) Seriously, I have tried the natural plant oestrogen's, and other alternatives including acupuncture, even bloody reiki - I still suffered enormously from the worst symptoms of menopause (yeah, I know ... sorry boys, too much information).

And the worst of the not-so-good news is that Tex is somewhere holed up in the wilds of Tasmania for the next three weeks, uncontactable for the most part, other than the occasional phone call from a pay phone (our mobile phone provider obviously got lost when he visited Tasmania to install towers - there is very little coverage). Whilst Tex is probably not going to miss seeing me inject myself, or dressing up in the Nanna Stockings, or for that matter, the hissy fits that may kick in when my HRT wears off tomorrow - I will miss his support, his company and even his bloody awful crap jokes ... all of which help to keep me grounded :)

I'm quite certain I'm being a precious drama queen, and that things will look and feel much better tomorrow, but right now I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and wish more than ever that chocolate was on my freaky eating plan :)

What's Your Favourite Holiday Memory ?

2008-01-28T18:50:00.000+11:00

Tex and I have had some truly memorable holidays over the past few years, having been fortunate enough to travel variously to France, mainland USA, India, Hawaii, South Africa, Indonesia and Fiji but none has been more enjoyable - or demanding - as our 2007 trip to South America where, amongst other things, we trekked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. We do a lot of bushwalking in the Blue Mountains around our home, but this trek was incredibly taxing, not only because it was undertaken at high altitude, but the track was rocky and uneven and consistently steep :) But, the view at sunrise after three really difficult days trekking was a sight that will take some matching:

We have a sponsor child (named Junior) in Cusco, Peru so took the opportunity to visit him and his family during this trip as well. A highlight of this part of the trip was surprising Junior and his classmates at his school.

At this stage, Junior goes to school in the local village, but next year when he starts high school, he will have to walk two hours there and two hours back - then he'll have to help his dad on their farm when he gets home in the afternoon.

Watching talented Peruvian women dye, spin and weave alpaca wool into amazing, brightly coloured garmants, in a small village outside Cusco, was another highlight :)

Our trip was completed with a few days charging down the Amazon River, and staying in an eco-hut in the middle of the rainforest, with monkeys, macaws, cayman and tarantulas screeching, creeping and crawling all around us ! There was no electricity and lots of scary moments for this arachnophobic - but we did manage to catch a pirahna (even though it was only a few inches long - check out the teeth though :)

We are currently planning our holiday to Ireland in May this year, so that may eventually top my list. But for now, our adventures in Peru have given me my favourite holiday memories :)

Just Sickening ....

2008-01-26T09:46:00.000+11:00

Not that there was ever any doubt, but this latest offering proves that there are no limits to the depths that these twisted, loathsome scum will plumb. Not content with the vilification of the gay community, this intolerant group of cretins have launched an attack on an actor who merely played the role of a gay man in a movie:

Anti-gay religious leader Fred Phelps has launched a scathing attack on Heath Ledger, saying his death was "the best thing that ever happened" to his family. The radical Kansas-based church plans to picket Ledger's memorial service which will be held in Los Angeles. Phelps, the 78-year-old pastor of the homosexual hate group from the US known as the Westboro Baptist Church also hit out against Australia, calling it "the land of sodom".

I am both sickened and saddened by this whole issue: I'm sickened by the bigotry, hatred and intolerance that evil people in this world put out there in the name of "religion" ....and I'm desperately sad for Heath Ledger's parents who are over here on the other side of the world, struggling to make sense of their son's death, who will read garbage like this. I'm sad for his young daughter Matilda who will grow up without ever knowing her father. I'm sad for the films that will never be made that would have further showcased this actors enormous talent.

There's no doubt: we live in a seriously fucked up world people....

How to Fake It (a Good Work Ethic) !

2008-01-26T07:38:00.001+11:00

In the spirit of further exploring the path to mediocrity at work, here are some tips to help fake a good work ethic:

Keyword: Reports - get some of these. There's bound to be old ones in a filing cabinet somewhere. Toss several across your desk in a can't-contain-the-madness kind of way, including one right in front of you with a highlighter pen resting on top. Highlight purposefully whenever supervisors are hovering. Meanwhile, is too much Minesweeper ever enough ?

Tell your mother to call you whenever she has something to report about the neighbours. Tell her in advance not to worry when you answer your calls with, "Barry, you're killin' me with these margins" and "Hey, I never signed off on that !"

Try to pass out each night with your face planted in a hessian pillow. It creates permanent weight-of-the-world furrows in your brow :)

Occasionally it's a good idea to arrive at work early, but there's little point if no-one knows about it. Be sure to send a number of emails to your staff or your supervisor the minute you walk in the door. If you are stuck for something to write, try mentioning that the security guy for the building doesn't appear to arrive to start work until 0630h.

Turn up at least 30 minutes late for after-work drinks. This shows you must be really busy while also ensuring the first shout isn't yours.

Develop a code system for your post-it notes. Write "Haircut Friday" as "cross reference cost flow data 09/716" and "Remember Mum's birthday" as "Don't forget, stat's review Monday - full system back-up ! Delta Force 101 !!"

Request a new ergonomically designed mouse for your computer on the basis that the old one is giving you RSI. Behold the mountains of paperwork headed your way from the HR, OH&S and Tech Support departments. You'll also have to get medical officers reports to justify your request. The entire process should take you about four months and while it won't exactly be fun, it sure isn't productive enough to be anything like hard work.

Move into Middle Management.....

"I have long been of the opinion if work were such a splendid thing, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves"
Bruce Grocott (1940- )

Happy Australia Day !

2008-01-26T07:11:00.001+11:00

Celebrating Mediocrity in a World that Tries Too Bloody Hard !

2008-01-22T18:56:00.001+11:00

Okay, I'm at day 7 of a new job - same organisation though and I've decided that I am not even going to try and compete with my peers - No, I am going to pursue a life more ordinary :-) Embrace mediocrity and celebrate my inner-"whatver dude".

These little gems form part of my new philosophy and will help those of you out there who would like to follow me and take your first mediocre steps towards a blissfully more ordinary life (in fact, why don't you group e-mail this list to ten people you couldn't be bothered contacting personally ?)

Work: Karma does not exist in the workplace. If you give a talentless, manipulative, grossly unfair boss enough rope, he'll simply hang more people.

Delegate: Remember, a job worth doing is worth contracting out.

Good Health: Given that most serious health crises happen to people when they least expect them, it's good practice to imagine the worst. So yes, it's probably a tumour.

Achievement: If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try .... something else. Or don't. Whatever.

Jetsetting: Don't be conned by airline advertising (the likes of which QANTAS employ) that boasts a crash-free safety record. It just means they're due.

Parenting: It's best to view parenting like a sort of long-term lay-by plan that takes so long to pay of, you forget why you wanted it in the first place. Having said that, there is nothing in life more rewarding and satisfying as a child's unconditional love. It's just such a shame it doesn't last beyond the move to solids.

Hard Work: Make hay while the supervisor is watching.

Exercise: Everyone knows that a healthy body equals a healthy mind, and vice-versa. Watch as many yoga and exercise videos as you can. Personally, I like to put them on while I am ironing.

Love: Pick someone. Make it work. End of story.

Challenge: As Nike says - just do it. Unless of course you don't really want to.

Enlightenment: Buy every self-help book available. Pile them on top of each other and place a nice piece of polished Tasmanian Oak on the top. Wa-lah ! Coffee table.

"Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best"
(Sir Max Beerbohm (1872-1956)

What Colour Crayon Are You ??

2008-01-21T21:26:00.000+11:00

I'm a bit over myself and my soul-searching posts at the moment, so here's a frivilous one to kick start the week :-)

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors.
You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius.
Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way.
While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme.

Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Daring to be Myself

2008-01-19T15:55:00.000+11:00

Today I will dare to be myself. I may be tempted to put a smile on my face even though I am angry, just in order to please another person. When turning down an invitation, I may want to make excuses so that nobody will get hurt feelings. I may be inclined to cancel plans that I care about, without protest, because a loved one prefers to stay at home and I don't want to make waves. I may give the best chop to my son and keep the burned one for myself. These may be perfectly acceptable choices, and I may opt for any or all of them.

But today I will be honest with myself as I do so - I will not pretend to feel what I do not feel or to want what I do not want. I have a right to want what I want and to feel the way I feel. I may not choose to act on those feelings or desires, but I won't hide them from myself. They are part of me.

"This above all: to thine own self be true".
William Shakespeare

Especially for Preposterous Ponderings ...

2008-01-18T21:34:00.000+11:00

....as promised, Tex in his Harley Davidson Socks, as gifted to him at Christmas by his dear old mum :)
My intention was to re-gift 'em straight to the Salvo's, but now he knows I hate them, I can't get him to take them off - he's such a strange and perverse boy (which will come as no surprise to those readers of his Blog ) !!

Re-Gifting - do you .... or don't you (you know you DO !)

2008-01-17T20:11:00.000+11:00

Okay, Christmas is over and by now you will have already decided which gifts are heading straight to the "Re-Gift Cupboard" at home. Although the practice pre-dates the term substantially, "re-gifting" was introduced on "Seinfeld" in 1995, and ever since, what was once a dirty little secret has become a way of life - c'mon admit it. Oh, I know, I shouldn't talk about re-gifting. It's like that other practice, you know, the one everybody does, but no-one likes to admit to doing it.

Personally, I have no qualms about re-gifting when done properly. Now, don't get me wrong; when carried out carelessly, re-gifting is a recipe for public humiliation and long-held grudges. But, when done with finesse and tact, re gifting can be a happy experience for all - providing you follow these few do's and don'ts. Starting with: DO take out the previous gift card and DON'T re gift books with names or inscriptions in them .... Duh !

Don't mention it, please: If you tell your sister-in-law, in so many words, "I have no use for this nasty vase, so I'm giving it to you," even a person in need of a vase will hate you. I say, keep your yap shut unless there's a good reason not to.

Do update the wrapping: The next most common re-gifting faux pas, after leaving the previous gift card attached, is to re-gift in the original, now crinkled and possibly torn (hello!?) wrapping paper or box. If the phrase "Hey, it looks almost new" crosses your desperate holiday brain, remember that the "almost" is a dead giveaway to the new giftee.

Don't give hand-me-downs as re-gifts: Novice re-gifters (and those who are terminally tacky) often get these two categories confused. Don't. A hand-me-down is an item you've already used that you'd like to pass along to someone who will enjoy it and use it more than you will. For example, a shirt you've removed the tags from and worn twice. You could wrap it up and give it as a "gift" only if another real gift is provided. A re-gift should be just that: a gift you've never used that you're giving away as though it were a . . . real gift!

Do keep track of who gave it to you first: For goodness sake, keep a small notebook of who gave you what. I had a harrowing experience that involved re-gifting a book to a friend - who had given them to me two years before. I forgot. She remembered. And she let me know about it. I could have died.

Don't EVER re-gift these items: Certain items are a total, dead, instant giveaway that you not only are re gifting, but you're too lame to put any effort into it: Fondue sets, candles, soap, daggy CDs, obscure software, cheesy jewellery, scarves, fruitcake, pens, cheap (4711 or Charlie anyone) perfume, boxed sets of extinct bath products, pirated videos or DVDs obviously acquired on a street corner, socks and any appliances or electronic gear the giftee would be puzzled to receive because they probably just got rid of it (including laser disc players and anything with a cassette deck in it).

Do have the courtesy to clean your re gifts: No-one wants to receive a rice cooker . . . with a couple of kernels of rice still clinging to it. Some hand-me-downs can be passed off as re-gifts if the packaging is intact, like the wine glasses you've belatedly decided to share with a loved one. Just wash the lipstick off the rim, 'kay?

Don't give something you've owned for a while: Not only is this in violation of the hand-me-down rule above, the giftee can and will recognize that picture frame from your living room shelf. (And while you're at it, don't re-gift picture frames, either.)

Don't give products from defunct companies:.Obvious, right (YES, it is)

Do sell your gifts on eBay: When someone first told me that, rather than re-gift, she sells unwanted presents on eBay and uses the proceeds to buy herself real gifts, I was sooo impressed. Then I realized everyone is doing it. (So THAT'S where all that obscure stuff comes from)

Retention Period: This refers to the length of time you need to keep the gift before you slide it on its way. If the people that gave it to you only visit once a year, then you can pretty much move that bad boy on its merry way as soon as they leave. If they live locally, then you may require a one or two month retention period in case they do pop in for a surprise 'fondue set' party !

Maximum re-gifting date: The MRD is in many ways determined by what the item its. Some things are classics and can be re-gifted years later; but other suckers need to be moved on before the latest version emerges in the stores. And remember, there's a hitch - unlike fruitcake, can't circulate forever. It's like the children's game Hot Potato: When time runs out, the loser has to keep the present.

There you go Bloggers; a few tips to keep your house de-cluttered and your wallet fatter ! (oh, one final rule .... Tex, the re-gifting concept is null and void for husbands and wives, so you can keep your Harley Davidson knee-high socks all to yourself, thanks :)

Are You a Cat or a Dog Person ?

2008-01-16T18:31:00.000+11:00

Yep, you’ll always get the big issues here at Missus Tex :)

So, bloggers, are you a Dog or a Cat Person ? Tex and I have both; we have two dogs – an adorable, beautifully natured Husky/Border Collie X named Banjo ...

and a feisty Australian Cattle Dog with attitude named Saffy ...

and two Burmese Cats, a Blue Tortoiseshell girl named Minti who loves you to death .... on her terms

.... and a chocolate boy called Jaffa who loves to snuggle.

They are both exclusively indoor cats, but have an enclosure built off the side of the house where they can sit in the 'outdoors' in safety (and where the native birds and animals are safe from them !)

I love all of our furry kids to bits, and I could not choose one of them over another. I love the dogs because I can get outdoors and take them for long walks, but my cats are the ones I cuddle up with and talk to when Tex is away with work. And while the pets 'belong' to everyone in the house, the boys have a greater affinity with the dogs and I treat the cats like they're my children. So, I guess I am more of a cat person.

But, just to be sure, I took the Pet Personality Test and with a score of 85.7 %, I'm definitely a cat girl.

Cat Person
As a cat person, you approach life with thoughtfulness. You are self-aware and have close friends who will be there for life. The subtleties and mysteries of the world intrigue you. Your ideal Friday night is good conversation or a movie you can't figure out the ending to. Your take-charge attitude sometimes meets with conflict, but you always surpass expectations when it comes to your work. You value intelligence, grace and independence, which is why a feline friend is best for you.

What about you ? Are you a Dog or a Cat Person ?

Plastic Surgery - Would You or Wouldn't You ??

2008-01-15T21:09:00.000+11:00

A friend of mine has just recently spent what I would consider to be an exorbitant amount of money on plastic surgery. To borrow a phrase from Bette Midler in the The First Wives Club', she had the "whole enchilada"... full face lift, neck lift, eye lift, tummy tuck and she was liposucked to within an inch of her life.

Now, I won't get started on the enormous pressure on women - and increasingly, on men - to physically conform to a single, unrealistic beauty ideal; a beauty ideal which is invariably damaging to an individuals body image because they it is so narrowly defined, uniform, and hard to achieve, that hardly anybody fits into its specifications....I'm saving that baby for another rant very shortly :)

I'm not sure that plastic surgery is the panacea to the myriad problems that some people may hope for, or that they are always happier afterwards... Having said that, I'm not averse - in principle - to the notion of a bit of a nip and tuck and regardless, strongly believe that it is a person's right to choose and not for others - me included - to judge.

But, I'm very interested in your views and so my question to you all is this: Would you or wouldn't you ? If you would, what would you consider having done (or if you are brave enough to tell, what work have you had done)..... and if not, why not ?

I Hate Poker Machines

2008-01-13T19:03:00.000+11:00

Headline in a Sydney newspaper this week: "Casino bets on al fresco gambling". Smoking regulations introduced in NSW in July last year mean that gamblers now have to go outside a premises to indulge their habit. But in an unconscionable act of greed, Star City Casino plans to create the largest gambling area for smokers in NSW, by gutting one of their harbour-front restaurants and filling it with 130 poker machines, with the aim to specifically target 18-35 year olds (yep, let's get 'em well and truly hooked while they are young and have disposable incomes).

I hate these things, these poker machines. I mean, really fucking hate them. I think they are a scourge on society and to use the words of Australian lyricist, Tim Freedman (of The Whitlams fame) "I wish they would blow up the pokies". Whilst to many people, they are a simple (dare I say mindless) form of entertainment, to millions of others, they are a highly addictive means by which to give the government more of your hard-earned via gambling taxes. For 10 straight years, gaming taxes have poured in at a rate that has exceeded Treasury's wildest dreams, rising from almost zero 15 years ago to upwards of 15per cent of state taxes today. And, let's not forget that pokie taxes are regressive, because pokie venues are concentrated near the people with the least, who not surprisingly happen to use them the most. Based on the Australian estimated resident adult population at the end of June 2005, the $15,459.7m net takings from gambling represented an expenditure of $996 per head of adult population for 2004-05

Nowadays it is the level of accessibility that exacerbates the issue. Previously, poker machines were only housed in registered clubs, which to many people were not as accessible as the corner pub. There is around 1 poker machine venue for every square kilometre of Sydney.

I have worked closely with professionals to assist people who have been affected by this addiction; those who have lost their spouses, their children, their jobs, their houses, their possessions, their life savings, and in some cases, their lives. For these people, kicking the pokies 'habit' is as difficult as kicking an alcohol or drug addiction. They spend countless hours and countless dollars in chasing the elusive 'win'. Fuck, they have better odds of being struck and killed by lightning (1 in 1.6 million) than winning the top prize on a poker machine 1 in 9,765,650). To even have a 50% chance of winning this prize playing one line a spin, would take 6.7 million button presses and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. So, why do they do it ? Because they are addicted; the fact that these machines are designed by psychologists to be deliberately addictive is an outrage; how these people can sleep at night is beyond me.

How the decision-making, blood-sucking leeches at Star City Casino can sleep at night is something else again.

As for the fucking government, will they step up and legislate to stop this disease spreading further ?? No fucking way, when gambling taxes accounted for a significant proportion of total state and territory taxes in 2004-05, particularly in South Australia (14.0%), the Northern Territory (15.1%) and Victoria (13.1%).

I have to be content with my heartfelt belief that karma will see this right.

Ahhhhhh, Serenity !

2008-01-10T13:36:00.000+11:00

Tex and I are off for three days of peace and tranquility (sans kid), at a wilderness retreat. It's a gorgeous place, with absolute privacy, no kids allowed, 2-person spa and is our cabin is built and set high amongst the tree tops. I've booked a two hour aromatherapy massage tomorrow, but the rest of our time is unplanned. We've packed our ipods, masses of books, lounging-around gear and our walking stuff so that we can get out and explore and hopefully get some great photos. Tex's dad is coming to stay to look after the house, our human kid and assortment of furry kids - as they all mutually adore one another, that means no stress for mum and I thoroughly relax :)

Look forward to checking in when we get back on Sunday. In the meantime, have yourselves a lovely weekend blog friends.

Becoming Emotionally Honest

2008-01-09T14:03:00.000+11:00

We wear a mask that grins and lies
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes
This debt we pay to human guile
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

(Taken from a poem by Paul Lawrence Dunbar (1872-1906)

Co-dependence .... Hmmm, I've got some issues around this. But, I think a big part of getting it sorted is to continue to work on emotional honesty. Emotional honesty means expressing your true feelings. I don't always find it easy to express my emotions. Like me, I'm sure many of you have picked up the idea that some of our feelings are not acceptable and should be shut away. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and an emotionally unavailable mother and feelings were simply not articulated, let alone dealt with in an authentic manner. Ergo, I grew up with some really maladjusted ways of coping with my problems; mostly simply denying they existed and that I was always "just perfect, thanks, just fine, yep, I'm ok".

But the problem with trying to deny our feelings is that they don’t really go away but continue to work on us from inside. Take it from one who knows, these unexpressed feelings can be a source of great suffering, sometimes much greater than the physical effects of illness. On the other hand, getting those feelings out in the open can be a great relief. Simply by acknowledging your feelings and then expressing them, you are better able to deal with them. Sometimes just talking will make a big difference; other times more specialised help may be required. But the bottom line is, you can’t deal with your emotions if they are bottled up inside.

If we are more emotionally honest with ourselves we will get to know our "true selves" on a deeper level. This may help us become more self-accepting and it could also helps us make better choices about how to spend our time and who to spend it with. If we are emotionally honest with others, it may encourage them to be more emotionally honest with us. When we are emotionally honest we are more likely not to be asked or pressured to do things which we do not want to do and will stop doing those things we do, out of "obligation" (which we invariably resent afterwards). We will also find out sooner who respects our feelings and who is worthy of spending our time with.

Scary stuff, putting yourself 'out there'; of course you risk being hurt, rejected, ridiculed, ignored, humiliated. But, I think the potential rewards make it worth it :)

Amazing Sheep Fact

2008-01-08T17:10:00.000+11:00

Growing up on a sheep farm, I can attest to the veracity of this "sheep fact" ! (courtesy of PETA)

Every sheep has a different face, and mob-mates can recognize each other, even from photographs, and even if they've been separated for years

What's The Worst Job You've Ever Had ?

2008-01-05T22:06:00.000+11:00

Compared to many, my feeble contribution to this post does not rate very highly on the "worst job scale". But, for the sake of getting this party started.....

I grew up on a wheat and sheep farm and one of the many gross jobs I had to do was to crawl under the shearing shed, shovel the sheep shit into buckets, put it into bags and then dig it into the dozens of garden beds in our orchard. Yes, sheep shit makes great organic fertiliser, but I swear I cannot eat sultanas to this day, UGH !

One of the other yuk but very necessary jobs I had, was to assist sheep to deliver lambs. When a ewe is exhausted after trying unsuccessfully to deliver her lamb, you need to put your arm inside her, locate a limb and pull it free. And no, the lambs don't just 'pop' out all white 'n fluffy 'n cute - there is usually an inordinate amount of physical effort required by the 'puller' to get those suckers free. And no, the poor 'pullee' tends not to lie there quietly, her hooves up in stirrups, listening to whale music, sucking the guts out of the nitrous oxide/oxygen mix while panting her way rythmically through her contractions - NO, she tries to get up and get the fuck away from you; and there's always gallons of freaky muck all over the place and all over you. Now all very well and good if you are a vet - gross if you are a 13 year old girl.

And, what's worse, my Dad was a non-believer in pocket money - so I did all of these hideous jobs for the love of it. WTF ??!!

So, boys and girls of Blogland, what's the worst job you've ever had ??

The Implausability of Satan

2008-01-05T19:38:00.000+11:00

A colleague sent me this article by Paul Dollard; it's quite well-written and offers some insight into why the whole notion of Satan is whacko when there is supposed to be a great and powerful God in the sky !

Sex and your Teenager

2008-01-04T18:53:00.000+11:00

My 15 year old son, Zach, and I have a great relationship; in between the ages of 1 (when his father and I divorced) and 9 (when I met and married Tex), I was a single mum (Zach is my only child) and as a result, he and I developed a very close bond. Zach has always been able to talk to me about anything, and I mean anything. Over the years, my work has meant that I have lived a great distance from my family, and so Zach and I have spent thousands of hours cooped up together in a car on interstate road trips. The conversations that deal with inherently personal stuff have usually occurred during these trips, where there is just he and I, but where the fact that I am the driver means that I can't look at him !

It usually goes something like this: Zach asks a question: "How to women masturbate if they don't have a penis ?" Me: (thinks frantically, be cool, it's ok, just give him the facts, keep the conversation going, don't be embarrassed or he will stop communicating), "well Zach, it's like this......[and I explain]

Countless questions have occurred over the years (aside from the doozy above), from the predictable, "Why did you and Dad get a divorce", (answer "because he wanted to have lots of other girlfriends as well as Mum") to the mundane, "Why is my face full of pimples", ("it's just hormones mate") to the "Why do I feel angry sometimes for no reason" ("ditto the hormones"), the "What is it with girls??". We've discussed his relationship with his girlfriend (who he's been with for almost 18months; a lovely age-appropriate relationship - holding hands, kisses, phone calls) We've also had the safe sex/condom/STD/unwanted pregnancy discussions, which have always concluded with, I'm not even interested Mum, but when I am, I'll tell you.

Which brings me to the post topic. Driving to the airport earlier this week, I knew he was working up to one of his "questions", and we batted back and forth, skirting the issue for a while, until he came up with "it"; it went something like:

Zach: "Sarah and I have been discussing sex and when we think it would be the right time. We both think we are too young now; we could deal with the physical side of it, but I don't think we are ready for the emotional issues that come with having sex. We both discussed that we think our relationship is special and that we want the first time to be really special too. We think that we'll wait until we are 16, and take it slow."

Me: "I'm really impressed that you've both had the maturity to discuss the matter so honestly and openly and that you've spoken with me about it. I'm really glad to hear that you have determined to wait at least a year, and that you have considered the emotional side of things as well as the physicality. I'm so very proud of the young man you've become and the respect you are showing for Sarah and yourself".

Yep, all sounds cool; I'm being totally cool on the surface, but inside my guts are churning. Partly because my little boy is growing up, but I was never really going to be ready for that ! But, more so because I'm not sure whether to just leave it at this, or....I don't know. At what age are kids having sex these days ? At what point do parents intervene and at what point do they back off ? Part of me is confident that Zach will come to me again if he is thinking of taking the next step, but the other part is concerned that he may not and, well, he's too bloody young.

And also, when they say they want to plan the first time so it's "special" at 16, where do they go ? My house - yikes NO ! Her home - not likely. But it needs to safe - bloody hell, I'm rambling a bit now and getting way ahead of myself, but how do you parents feel about your kids (not adult kids, but kid kids) sleeping together in your home ? Zach often has friends, including his girlfriend, stay over, but when it's time for sleep, it's off to separate rooms.

I accept that this may just be me exhibiting the "Smother-Mother" gene that my father thinks I have, and a major over-reaction to a perfectly normal situation; but if any of you amazing, been-there-and-done-that parents out there have any sage wisdom to offer me, I would be hugely grateful to hear your thoughts.

How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People (bit of a book review!)

2008-01-03T08:27:00.000+11:00

Catchy title of a book I've read recently. Now, I love a good "self-help" book, but sometimes you just have to stop holding on so tight and get over yourself. I've studied myriad contemporary texts on every possible aspect of leadership, management and self-development during my working and academic life, but few have struck a chord with me the way this book has. It challenged my way of thinking about traditional workplace issues, made me smile and made me sad. It made me angry in parts and I certainly did not agree with many of his contentions - but it was a hugely entertaining, and sometimes inspiring, read.

The author, Jonar Nadar, slams diplomacy as a waste of time. He blows the whistle on the corporate and political games played out in the workplace. He discredits the rules that have done nothing more than nourish the lethargic, imprison new talent and suppress freedom. He exposes protocol as a brick wall that protects the insecure and keeps at bay the bold and brave. He calls on those who are in a position of power to lift their game.

Nadar condemns the critics who intimidate others in the workplace. You know them - critics are those whose rich and condemning vocabulary largely consists of words like: never; not done: can't be achieved: unreasonable: unrealistic: will never happen. They encourage censorship and promote the banning of all sorts of things. They prize legislation and love thought-control, promoting themselves as "mind-guards". And, they hide behind words they do not understand - like morals, social standards, ethics, social behaviour, and political correctness (yet have the gall to intimidate women, communists, capitalists, gays, and those of atypical lifestyles). Inventors, pioneers, radical, and visionaries have ventured from the lonely and costly camp of 'minority' only to be obstructed by majority-rule concepts that tolerate inferiority, hinder progress, harbour injustice and pose limits within the decaying status quo.

Righteousness. It is a timeless word that belongs to everyone. Too bad it does not unite with 'tolerance, dance with 'individuality' and blend with 'acceptability' and stay away from 'justice' - an obscure word that has legitimacy to the one who applies it, and no useful function to the one to whom it is being applied.

If you acknowledge that nothing is ever final, that possibilities are endless, that life is never simple, that a rolling stone can gather moss, that a watched kettle does boil, and that those that cry last, cry the most ... then this book may be for you !

New Years Day Bushwalk in the Blue Mountains

2008-01-01T23:14:00.000+11:00

Taking my inspiration from Vamp, I thought I'd post a few pics taken while bushwalking with my boys today.

We are very fortunate to live in the heart of the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney, and never tire of bushwalking in this world heritage listed area.

We usually deliberately select walks where we are unlikey to see other people; that way we get to enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by the bush and are more likely to see some of our native wildlife.

I hope 2008 is a fabulous year, bringing lots of fun and happy times to you all.

Change

2007-12-31T16:43:00.000+11:00

"You must be the change you want to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi
Indian political & spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)

What's The Best Piece of Advice You've Ever Been Given ?

2007-12-31T13:23:00.000+11:00

When I was around 10 years of age and just beginning to develop an awareness that some people judge others on their appearance, my dear old Nan said to me:

"Just put a big smile on your face my girl. Then people will not see your worn coat, your darned socks or your scuffed shoes. They will just see the beautiful girl underneath"

She must have told me this a dozen times or more when I was young. Now, 33 years later, I no longer have to wear second hand clothes or shoes, but I still worry too damn much about what other people think of me. I wish I'd listened - and believed - when my Nan spoke those words.

Here's to all the Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, Fabulous Women out there

2007-12-30T21:50:00.000+11:00

I have always loved this excerpt from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inauguration speech, where he quoted Marianne Williamson (from her book 'A Return To Love').

I'm paraphrasing it below especially for my new friends out there in Blog Land - you know who you are - thank you for your strength and your inspiration.

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I Love My Motorbike

2007-12-30T20:56:00.000+11:00

She's a 2005 VTR750 Honda Shadow and just the second road bike I've owned since I've been a grown-up. I learned to ride on a Yamaha 100 ag bike around the farm i grew up on, but have only had my road licence for the past few years. I love going for rides in the mountains with Tex (he has a much bigger, faster Yamaha FJR1300), but confess to being a fair weather rider (ie. no riding in rain or on -0degC or 40degC+ days), which I agree makes me a bit soft ! And when I say riding with Tex, what I mean is that whilst we drive out of the garage together, he speeds off and periodically waits for me on the side of the road until I catch up ! Hey, I don't mind, I always ride my own ride. I usually stick to the speed limit, and whilst I always wear fully-armoured leather jacket and kevlar-lined draggin jeans, I'm not about to take any risks; whilst I love riding, I am acutely aware of the risks of not being seen by car drivers.

I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks which is a comfortable half hour commute down the mountain, so am really looking forward to riding to and from work - and with the price of fuel these days being so outrageous (no really, thanks Mr Bush and your fucking war), the ecomony of the bike is an added bonus.

Liberation !

2007-12-29T22:58:00.000+11:00

Well, I've finally done it - I've had that conversation with my mother. Yep, from 2008 I will not be playing "happy families" at Christmas time. I will spend the holidays with Tex and Tex Jnr doing what makes us happy, not what my family expects me to do, or what I feel obligated to do. Whilst I do love my two sisters and my mum and dad, I share very little with them other than genes. We have absolutely nothing in common and to continue to pretend that we all get on with each other is just farcical. To put it bluntly, my sisters are self-absorbed, materialistic, drama queens; my father is an emotionally-distant alcoholic and my poor mother is just about drowning in her martyrdom. Now, I'm certainly not perfect - far, far from it. I have plenty of my own idiosyncrasies which no doubt drive them equally spare. But, whilst I can get on with each of them individually, put us all together under one roof and it is a fucking train smash !

So, bring on Christmas 2008 - you don't scare me anymore ! Woohoo !!

Why Are Tattoos so Addictive ?

2007-12-29T22:17:00.000+11:00

I got my first tattoo almost 20 years ago; a girly, swirly, flowery design encircling the belly piercing I had been brave enough to get some months earlier(hey, this was in the early 80s before every pre-pubescent 12 year old girl had pierced navels !). There was no particular purpose, no meaning to it at all, except the age-old raison d'être: It seemed like a good idea at the time. I recall the tattoo artist telling me that they were addictive and that I would be back for more. At the time, I was gritting my teeth from the pain of the needle cutting into my soft lower belly, watching as she swabbed away smeared blood and wondering why the hell I was getting it done in the first place - I was absolutely adamant that I was never going to do it again.

Fast forward 20 years and I've just endured the pain of my 5th tattoo and am already wondering where and what my next one will be. And this last one hurt - I mean, seriously fucking hurt. From start to finish, it took almost 4 hours and was on the top of my foot, where there is little fat or muscle to cushion the impact of needle on bone. I got the hibiscus in Hawaii during a trip a couple of years ago, then had some vines added for more impact and balance.

So, why do I (and millions of others) keep going back for more ? For one thing, I can assure you all that's it's not for the endorphin rush; I get no such high - it just fucking hurts from the first tentative scratch of needle on skin til the time the the very last drop of ink is injected.

And, it's certainly not so that I can endure the scathing criticism that some people feel compelled to impart ... I frequently hear the line, usually with a sniff: "I can only imagine what you're going to look like when you're 70." The answer, of course, is like everyone else with seven decades of living behind them: saggy and relatively unappealing. But, seriously, tattoos won't much help or hinder that, one way or another will they ? And yes, I agree there might be a day when my body designs don't look quite as good to me as they do now, but I will never regret them. I just wish people would understand that my tattoos are not for them to understand and like - they are inherently personal and I love each and every one of them. However, understanding the prejudice of some people, all of my tattoos are in places that can be easily covered by clothing or shoes if I choose - I certainly don't flash them around in the workplace for example.

So, it is a bit of a mystery to me - but I guess it does not need to be explained. And in any case, as far as addictions go, this one is relatively benign.

What do you want to be when you grow up ??

2007-12-27T10:21:00.000+11:00

I've been struggling for years to find the answer to this question. If only I'd thought to take the blog test, I may not be having such a career crisis right now. I need to find a vocation where my personal values match those of the organisation I work in. (Actually, this is one career choice I legitimately considered when I was younger, but ironically, I was cautioned against it because I would "take on other people's problems as if they were your own". I guess the inference was that I would lack objectivity and get too personally involved. Maybe I should have gone with my gut instinct and ignored them all!)

You Should Be a Social Worker

You are deeply caring and empathetic.
You are able to take on other people's problems as if they were your own.
Sensitive and intuitive, you understand human emotions well.
Helping others gives you the most joy in life. You feel like it's your purpose in life.

You do best when you:

- Have a lot of responsibility
- Greatly impact someones life with your work

You would also be a good philanthropist or stay at home parent.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

One Million Blogs for Peace

2007-12-22T23:15:00.000+11:00

I saw this icon on Random Thoughts of Life and was inspired. I hope you are too. It involves taking a Pledge which affirms that you believe in the immediate withdrawal of all foreign combat troops from the nation of Iraq, and that you believe in using your blog, in whole or in part, as a tool toward this end. Simply click on the Peace Icon underneath and sign up !

How Quirky Are You ?

2007-12-21T21:17:00.000+11:00

Hrmph ! I think I'm way more quirky than that ! Bloody hell - perhaps I'm simply mainstream.....(I think their quirkmeter is off). What about you bloggers ? What's your quirk quotient ??

Your Quirk Factor: 62%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.
No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

Christmas Drove this Mother Crackers

2007-12-21T21:09:00.000+11:00

A Mother, pushed to breaking point by the stresses and strains of a family Christmas was held in police cells for a night after her patience with her three children and husband finally snapped.

Sarah Hughes,32, dumped the family's presents in the bin and ripped down the decorations. She slammed the front door, shattering the glass, and when he husband Michael,33, said he was calling the police she cut the telephone wires and tried to slash the tyres on his car.

Eventually two police officers arrived at the family's home and arrested her for a breach of the peace. After a night in custody she appeared in court yesterday and told magistrates "I could do without Christmas".

I hear you sister !!

(With thanks to Michael Cumberlin - The Times:London)

The Cats Have it All Sussed

2007-12-21T18:22:00.000+11:00

Instead of ranting and railing against the injustice in the world, when I come back, I want to come back as a cat....

"There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience." Allen and Ivy Dodd

How Many Germs Live on Your Computer Keyboard ???

2007-12-21T04:33:00.000+11:00

Ewwww !! Way tooooo many on mine. I saw this on Frog Ponds Rock blog and loved the grossness of it. Click on the link below, take the quiz and see how you go !

2,516,640

Find

Taking Responsibility Pt 2 - Anger Issues

2007-12-20T19:08:00.000+11:00

Because I deal with lots of difficult people at work, sometimes I get pretty cranky; in fact, sometimes I get really angry. Lately, I've been questioning the amount of energy I invest in this negative emotion and wondering if there might not be a better way of dealing with it. If like me you have anger issues from time to time, and have a tough time trying to deal with how it makes you feel, maybe this thought can give you a new way of looking at things - "I make myself angry". Nobody makes you angry, you make yourself angry. Now, for some people, a thought such as this is drastically different from their normal mode of thinking. Normally, when someone says or does something we don't like and it upsets us, we want to say, "You make me angry." Perhaps we need to question that assumption rather than taking it for granted: Is it really true that he or she makes me angry or am I making myself angry?

In these situations, I need to sit down and think carefully about what is really going on. Perhaps someone said or did something that was unacceptable to me. Perhaps, it seemed unfair to me. It creates a new problem for me, or makes it difficult for me to get what I want. Naturally, I don't like it. It frustrates me. It upsets all my plans. It denies me what I really wanted. But all the things I mentioned are "I", "me" and "mine." I made myself angry because those are my perceptions, my desires, and my expectations, etc. Those may not at all be the perceptions, desires, or expectations of the person who I mistakenly think makes me angry. Isn't that often the case between two people in conflict, "they don't see eye to eye with each other?" Each one is angry because the other one is not meeting his or her expectations, demands, wishes, and the like. The fact is that each one is making oneself angry, blaming the other for one's own anger, and both become furious and utterly frustrated with each other because neither of them wants to change his or her ways.

I think the reason that we try so hard to prove that the person in front is at fault, is probably not so much to blame the other person but rather has to do with us wanting to protect our own self-esteem. If we don't defend ourselves vigorously and blame the other person with equal vigour, we may have to admit to ourselves that we were at fault. Yikes, fuck that concept !!

All this is of course easier said than done and I'm very sure I won't get through the Christmas with the family period unscathed and without getting bloody angry. But, it is something for me to work on. We'll see......

Taking Responsibility - Part 1

2007-12-20T18:50:00.001+11:00

I have a new member of staff - let's call him Mr Bloggs - who is apparently incapable of telling the truth. Ever since he arrived at my place of work a month ago, he has proved himself to be a habitual liar. I have lost count of the times I have caught him out in a lie. The way these untruths seem to effortlessly roll off his tongue would indicate that this is a very familiar pattern of behaviour. Whilst I will forgive most misdemeanour's, the one thing I find intolerable is a lack of integrity. I accept that people make mistakes - we are human and it is human to make mistakes. I certainly make my fair share. But what I can't and don't accept is that when these mistakes are made, some people refuse to accept responsibility and instead, look for someone or something else to blame.

I know it is a generalisation, and there are many honest people out there but it seems to me that they are getting few and far between. So my question to people like Mr Bloggs is this: "When do you start taking responsibility for your own actions?" It appears that these folks no longer own their actions. Owning your actions involves taking personal responsibility for what you do. Why is it that when something goes wrong, they need some place (or person) to lay the blame? Part of being a mature, responsible adult is to know that when you make a decision in life, you are responsible for the outcome, not someone else.

So Mr Bloggs, for fuck's sake, let go of the blaming mentality and stop being a freaking victim. Step up, accept the consequences of the choices you make, take responsibility, hold yourself accountable and perhaps then you will grow up.

Grrrrrrrr........

Finally, Common Sense Prevails !

2007-12-19T22:03:00.001+11:00

I heard two bits of great news today !

1. Whilst the reason for the cancellation (drought) is tragic, the upside is that the Duck shooting season in the state of Victoria has been cancelled for the second consecutive year - woohoo !! Finally some common sense prevails. With duck numbers, habitat availability and breeding levels, in some cases, at their lowest levels in 25 years, this is awesome news.

2. Japan has apparently agreed not to kill humpback whales during its current Antarctic hunt. Japan's whaling fleet set sail last month with plans to catch more than 1,000 whales, including 50 humpbacks, before returning to port early next year. Humpbacks were hunted to near extinction until the International Whaling Commission ordered their protection in 1966 and the planned hunt had sparked a loud outcry from activists. Australia today announced that it would send a fisheries patrol ship to shadow Japan's whaling fleet near Antarctica and gather evidence for a possible international court challenge to halt the yearly hunt.

Acting against the whalers was one of the new Labor-led Australian government's election pledges. "We are dealing here with the slaughter of whales, not scientific research," Mr Smith told a news conference in Canberra. "That is our start point and our end point." A formal protest would also be lodged with the Japanese government within weeks, he said, without naming other nations involved.

"The Australian government will take all diplomatic measures to seek to persuade the Japanese government to stop the whale slaughter," Australian broadcaster ABC quoted Mr Smith as saying.

Yeah !!

Unadulterated Greed

2007-12-19T19:41:00.000+11:00

I hate Christmas. For starters, it is probably the most stressful time of year for me, for there is always the tension between the expectations of my parents and siblings "you've got to "do" Christmas, otherwise you are depriving your son of all things magical" and what I want to do (laze around a pool reading a book, relaxing and forget all about family expectations). Then there are my expectations (that this year will be different and family will all spend a bitch/whinge/snipe-free happy state of being) which are inevitably never met. But, worse of all there is the relentless, unadulterated, grasping, greedy commercialism that seems to start earlier and earlier every year. For fuck's sake, the tinsel and trees appeared in the shops just moments after the freaking Easter eggs had been taken off the shelves. AND, I hate the glossy, tree-destroying catalogues which appear in my letterbox months before, enticing people to spend, spend, SPEND and get themselves into debt, debt, DEBT. Because as we surely know, the degree to which we love someone is directly proportional to the amount of money we spend on their Christmas gift/s.

At work right now, I am surrounded by people who are rapidly working themselves into a frenzy with all the shopping, wrapping, posting, spending - putting everything on credit and buying things they cannot afford for people they don't really care for, because "that's what you do at Christmas". They will then spend the next month standing in queues returning gifts they don't want/don't like/don't need/don't work and a further 6months in a post Christmas funk, trying to pay off the credit card bill.

Tex and I recently went to Peru to visit our sponsor child. He and his family live in what most westerners would describe as abject poverty, but they are happy. Our sponsor child walks over 2 hours to school and back each day, then helps his father on the farm the rest of the time. We took him a soccer ball and pump and a T-shirt with an Australian flag on it and you would have thought we had given him a million dollars. He and his family have a rudimentary roof over their heads, basic food to eat and as much love and affection for each other as I have seen anywhere.

Most people would feel sorry for them - but as I look around my workplace and see unhappy, harried faces, I know who I feel more sorry for.

Body Image Issues - Your Children are Listening

2007-12-17T20:25:00.000+11:00

Hmmmmmmm - for me this is a truly vexed issue. Like millions of women around the world, I have struggled with body image issues for much of my life. Whilst I intellectually know I am not fat, I have spent far too much of my life believing this notion to be an absolute truth. Whilst it sounds cliched, this all started in my childhood and continued on into my adult life, with relationships with abusive partners and I guess I've never adequately dealt with the issues so they continue to haunt me from time to time.

I vividly remember a comment my father made about the size of my backside when I was 12 years of age; immediately before my mother put me on my first diet. For Christ sake, I was hitting puberty, sprouting breasts and hips and rounding out as nature intended - but my (size 6, bikini-wearing) mother was having none of it - it was lettuce leaves and carrot sticks for her pudgy daughter from that day forth.

It's just so, so sad and my heart aches for all the young girls out there who are bombarded with media images of impossibly thin, impossibly (airbrushed) beautiful models and the whole sexualisation of younger girls who are encouraged to dress in a manner completely inappropriate to their age. Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that media images of female beauty are unattainable for all but a very small number of women. Researchers generating a computer model of a woman with Barbie-doll proportions, for example, found that her back would be too weak to support the weight of her upper body, and her body would be too narrow to contain more than half a liver and a few centimeters of bowel. A real woman built that way would suffer from chronic diarrhea and eventually die from malnutrition !! Hideous, but true - and still, the number of real life women and girls who seek a similarly underweight body is epidemic, and they can suffer equally devastating health consequences.

Of course I understand that our body image is how we perceive, think and feel about our body, which may have no bearing at all on our actual appearance. For instance, it is common in Western nations for women to believe they are larger and fatter than they really are. According to studies conducted in Australia, only one in five women are satisfied with their body weight. Nearly half of all normal weight women overestimate their size and shape. As I know only too well, a distorted body image can lead to self-destructive behaviour, like dieting, binge eating or eating disorders(in my case, bulimia for many, many years). And, approximately nine out of 10 young Australian women have dieted at least once in their lives.

The barrage of messages about thinness, dieting and beauty tells "ordinary" women that they are always in need of adjustment and that the female body is an object to be perfected.

Your children are listening - so, please, please whether you are a mum or dad, an aunt or uncle, a neighbour or friend, or simply a passerby, make your best effort to be a positive influence on the young kids out there. Let’s try to fill those young minds with a fresh and healthy perspective on body image and stop the self-destructive behaviour from perpetuating.

I don't believe in UFOs, but......

2007-12-17T19:28:00.000+11:00

Poodles has tagged me with an interesting MEME about any paranormal events I may have had. This was actually a few days ago now, so everyone is probably well and truly over reading these kinds of stories, but in the interests of playing fair, here goes....

Firstly, "The Rules"

You should post these rules

Recall and relate a time when you experienced a "paranormal event"

Explain it rationally if you can

Inflict this meme on 5 other people

A number of years ago when I was living on a sheep farm in Victoria, I was driving with my mum around dusk on a hot summer's evening. The sky was clear and the air still and my mum and I were heading home after a day of shopping in a town about an hour away. All of a sudden - and it literally happened suddenly - a large, very bright orb of light appeared over in a paddock to our left. It was around 250metres away and around 20metres off the ground. We slowed down to have a look and remarked that it was very early for spotlighters to be out (men who hunt foxes at night to protect their sheep), but as we spoke, the light started moving higher and closer and all the while it was getting brighter. We stopped the car and watched and whilst neither of us mentioned it at the time, we later admitted the hair on the backs of our neck was standing up. It was bizarre; it hovered for probably 30 seconds in place, then started moving higher and further away. Then when it was probably 500metres away, it just vanished. We kept staring at the area, and whilst it was getting darker, we could clearly see that there was nothing there - either on the ground, or in the air. Really, truly freaky stuff. Neither of us believe in UFOs or any type of paranormal activity, but we simply could not explain it then and I still don't know what it was. We discussed the fact that it was too high for a spotlight (usually mounted on a vehicle or held by hand), there were no houses in that area, it was too low for a chopper or plane, wasn't ball lighting - there was definitely something going on. I still don't believe in UFOs, but still, some 25 years later I simply have no explanation for it.

Also, my sister seems to have an ability to know stuff that she just should not/could not know - I suppose you would call her a medium. Whilst she does not see dead people, she claims to speak to them. I say claims because I just can't get with the program and struggle to believe it all. But, somehow she manages to tell my mum things about her childhood that only her long-dead mother would know (like the colour of the dress and shoes my mum wore on her first day at school) and the song that she used to sing to her (my maternal grandmother died when my mother was 9) and myriad other things like that. How to explain it ? Other than suggesting that she has heard these things from my mum before (my mum swears not) I simply don't know. More really, truly freaky stuff that I can explain.

Not sure who else to tag with this, but I'll start with Sarah !

Solariums: Fashion to Die For

2007-12-12T19:13:00.000+11:00

As a former devotee of sun tanning - when I was younger by lying for hours on end in the hot sun, sizzling under a layer of greasy sun tan oil, and in my 30s a huge fan of the solarium for acheiving an all-over, year-long, bronzed tan - these days, I find myself scanning my body on a regular basis for spots, marks, freckles or moles that change in shape, texture or size - warning signs that I may have a skin cancer.

The statistics are frightening. Over 1300 Australians die every year from skin cancer. 1 in 2 Australians will be diagnosed with skin cancer in their lifetime. Deliberately exposing your skin to UV radiation, by using a solarium, will increase your risk of skin cancer.

The The Cancer Council campaign, "Solariums: Fashion to Die For" was launched to make people aware of the dangers of contracting skin cancer from solariums. The campaign is aimed at fashion conscious young women who feel pressured into having a tan. The message is simple – using a solarium for even a small amount of time can increase your chances of developing skin cancer. Solariums emit ultraviolet rays up to five times stronger than the midday summer sun.

Ultraviolet radiation such as from a solarium causes premature ageing of the skin. This may be evident as increased skin wrinkling, irregular pigmentation and altered skin texture, photo aging and a loss of skin elasticity. All this damage is generally irreversible without cosmetic surgery.

Apparantly:

1. Solariums may emit much higher concentrations of ultraviolet (UV) radiation than the sun; in fact, up to five times as strong as the midday summer sun.

2. Solariums emit UVA and UVB radiation, both known causes of skin cancer. In general, solariums predominantly emit UVA, however in recent years, solariums have been manufactured to produce higher levels of UVB to mimic the solar spectrum and higher levels of UV radiation intensity to speed up the tanning process.

Associate Professor John Kelly from the Cancer Council dispels the solarium myths:

1. Solarium tanning is safer than tanning in the sun. . . . . Not True

Solariums emit harmful levels of UV radiation up to five times as strong as the midday summer sun. This is the equivalent of the UV index being over 60. (The highest UV index level in NSW is 13.)

2. If I build up my tan, I’ll be protected from the sun. . . . . Not True

A tan offers limited protection and increases your risk of skin cancer and premature ageing.

3. A tan makes you healthy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not True

There is nothing healthy about skin cancer or damaged skin. Solariums are dangerous and threaten the lives of people that use them.

4. I need a solarium tan for a special occasion. . . . . . . . . Not True

A solarium emits a very powerful dose of UV radiation. If you must have a tan then use fake tanning products.

5. A solarium is a good way of getting my Vitamin D. . . . Not True

For any active Australian, you will receive enough Vitamin D while doing your normal day-to-day activities. Exposing your skin to extreme levels of UV radiation, through a solarium, is not safe. If you believe you may be Vitamin D deficient, speak to your doctor.

The simple fact is that the more your skin is exposed to UV radiation the greater your risk of skin cancer. I'd wished I'd known that 10 years ago, although honestly it probably would not have made much difference. Youth has a way of making us feel immortal.

So, come on girls - if you want the bronzed look (and I must confess I still have to get over the fact that I still think it looks better !), then let's fake it (and let's face it, I daresay we'll all had plenty of practice with faking it in our time) and get out the tubes/sprays/cans of fake tan. The new stuff is less orangey in colour and more pleasant smelling than the earlier types.

AND, if you are or have been at risk, keep checking for those suspect changes and if in doubt, get to your GP - your life may very well depend upon it.

Consumerism at Christmas

2007-12-11T17:57:00.000+11:00

giftWhen I was a kid growing up on a wheat and sheep farm in Australia, I didn't have 'stuff''. My parents were not well off financially (I'd say they were poor but that screams of melodrama) and so my two sisters and I rarely got gifts, new clothes or went on school excursions, and we did not have a single family holiday in the 17 years I lived at home. You can bet Dad always had money for beer and cigarettes, but there was rarely any money left over for his wife or kids. Okay, a bit of melodrama has crept in, but fuck it - I do still harbour some unresolved resentment (more shit to deal with during counselling sessions !).

Suffice it to say, Christmas was never a big production, at least with respect to presents. Poor Mum tried - she trotted out the same tired old fake tree for the first 17 years of my life, adorned it with faded baubles and stringy tinsel and took we kids to Christmas Eve Mass every freaking year. But, although we diligently hung out our Santa Sacks on the chimney, and expectations were high in young minds, the day was almost always a complete disappointment in terms of presents for the kids. Mind you, Mum did try and get some cash off my father before he drank it all away, and purchased at least one Christmas gift for each of her three daughters. But, it was never the Chrissy Doll (you remember the one, she had hair that you pulled from the top of her head !) when I was 7 or the cassette player I so desperately wanted when I was 12. But, there was love and there was always something small and thoughtful lurking in the sack.

As a child I was consumed with envy for the fortune of my best friend, whose parents were local business owners 'in town' for she and her siblings were completely over indulged with every thing their little hearts desired. I know I carried this resentment over being poor and envying my friend into adulthood, because I have spent a good deal of my adult working life spending money on 'things', some I needed, some I just plain wanted, and many, many more I neither needed or wanted. Although I am sure some Psych would probably over analyse the issue, for me it is as simple as now when I want stuff, I can - and do - damn well buy it.

Well, the result has been a houseful of stuff that has, at least in recent times, been given away, sold or otherwise trashed for I now yearn for a more simple existence where as long as I have a roof over my head, healthy food on my table and love in my home, that alone is enough to sustain me.

This philosophy has carried over into my Christmas Gift Giving plan for 2007 - and whether they want it or not, parents, siblings and friends will be given a goat, some tree seedlings, an organic vege garden, a toilet, school supplies or a fuel efficient stove. What the.....? Ok, there is a great organisation in Australia, TEAR - Transformation, Empowerment, Advocacy, Relief (one of many here and around the world I am sure) that offers these gifts in exchange for donations to their aid programs. So, you go to the website, select the appropriate gift eg. School supplies for a community in Bangladesh (or Afghanistan, India, Thailand, Kenya, Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda) for my ex-school teacher Mother in Law and for the sum of $AUD50, she receives a card thanking her for her sponsorship and that's the gifting all done ! In fact, most of my family members are aware they are getting these kinds of virtual-gifts this year and are delighted. And, in this season which is supposed to be all about giving - not getting - so they bloody well should be !

Bunny Boilers

2007-12-10T20:12:00.000+11:00

I'm in a job where I have hundreds of staff and I'm frequently involved in assisting them deal with myriad professional and personal crises. In the last couple of weeks, I've had a couple of experiences with women who have come to me for advice about what I would describe as systematic, sustained, seriously-fucked-up stalking behaviour from ex's. Both these women detailed patterns of behaviour by these men which, to any reasonable person, would constitute unacceptable behaviour, but for some reason, they had put up with it for up to 18months. The stories they told, the emails and transcribed text messages they showed me, were enough to simultaneously raise goose-bumps on my flesh and make me sick to my stomach. There was evidence of plaintive, pleading entreaties followed only minutes later by sadistic, perverted threats against the girls and their new partners/kids/pets. The girls had been followed in cars, on foot, had their houses and workplaces watched and in one case, a note had been passed directly to a child on their way home from school from the psycho ex. In the other case, an email she received revealed her ex knew the name of her new partner, his daughter's name, where he worked and what he did for a job, both he and his daughter's dates of birth, her new address, (silent) telephone number - and he's supposed to be living interstate - how the hell did he find this stuff out ?? Seriously, scary, fucked-up shit. But, neither of these girls had sought police intervention - they had either tried to ignore the behaviour, replied to emails and text messages with gentle pleas to be left alone to get on with their new lives or retreated into their homes and lived like caged birds.

Helloooooo !!!! Girls - these men are nut-bags of the highest order - dontcha think that if they intended leaving you alone, they would have done so by now ????

The really sad part is that part of me understands the manipulation and mind games that these men play and how we women sometimes buy into their shit. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person, but I stayed in a previous emotionally-abusive relationship for 6 years because my ex had convinced me I was fat, ugly, worthless, stupid and unlovable - in hindsight, and now I'm in a healthy, authentic, honest relationship, I am furious with myself, for I know I am none of those things, but at the time, when you are in the midst of it, your self-esteem is so low you really and truly believe it, deep down. So, I get why other women don't leave or when they do, how hard they sometimes find it to extricate themselves from the relationship.

But, back to these women - I took both of them to the local police station where they were compassionately interviewed by domestic violence case workers and AVOs were taken out against the men involved. It's early days yet, but it appears as though these cowardly, bullying men have finally met their match. Of course, not all women are as lucky as these two - domestic homicides are all too frequent, and it's really scary what a fine line there is between passionate love and passionate hate.

No, I'm not a man hater - my two great loves are my husband and only son - and I do agree that this kind of behaviour is perpetrated by many women as well (as the title of my blog suggests). But, the terror I witness in those who are genuinely afraid for their lives and those of their loved ones when they are the victim of stalker-ex's, are usually women.

So, has it happened to you ? Have you been stalked or had your bunny boiled by an ex ? I'd love to hear your stories.

I just don't get other parents

2007-11-17T17:58:00.000+11:00

Today is my son's birthday party; he turned 15 this week and he invited 10 other kids to a sleep over party at our home. Six girls and 4 boys. Now, only one of the parents had met me and none of them had met Tex. So, I (naively) thought that since their little darlings would be sleeping over at a stranger's home, they would come in and meet Tex 'n me, check out our home and get the feel of the place. Well, not only did they not come in, the first I knew of most arrivals was a ring at the door bell by a kid, I would look out, enquire as to the whereabouts of mum or dad, only to be told, "Oh, they've gone home".

Now, I don't know about you other parents, but if my son was invited to someones home for a sleep over, I'd be wanting to check out the other kids parents. Although I don't have a 15 year old daughter, I would imagine that her parents would be even more keen. Okay, so Tex is a fabulous bloke, but fuck me - they don't know that; for all they know, he could massacre 15 year old kids with a chainsaw in the basement (or worse...), but not one of the little darlings mums or dads decided to pop in and check us out.

I'd like to think that they are just trusting people, who know our son and who believe that, on the basis of his nature and personality, we would be good people. But, personally, I think its just negligence on their part. Maybe I'm over reacting (yes, I have been accused of being a 'smother-mother' more than once), but I don't think you can be too careful.

What do you think ?? Am I over reacting, or do you find it surprising that none of the parents wanted to (1) check out my husband and I; (2) ask/check about sleeping arrangements for their daughters; (3) leave emergency contact phone numbers; ir (4) arrange pick up times.

Seriously, I just don't get other parents....

8 Things

2007-11-13T20:39:00.000+11:00

I was struggling to find something to start my blog with, so my husband suggested I try this...

*8 things I'm passionate about:

1. My husband and son without whom life would be soul-less

2. My Burmese cats, Minti and Jaffa

3. Aligning my personal values with those of the my organisation

4. Being kind to old people, kids and animals
5. Reading for pleasure (ie NOT freaking text books) and listening to great music
6. Honesty, integrity and loyalty above all else
7. The promotion of equity and diversity in all its forms
8. The welfare of my staff

*8 things I would like to do before I die:

1. Accept myself for who and what I am

2. Snorkel off the Maldives

3. Learn more about Buddhism

4. Work within an organisation whose values align with my own

5. Take ballroom dancing lessons

6. Learn to corner my motorbike with great confidence at high speed !
7. Live in a small cottage on acreage with just my husband, my cats 'n dogs, a vege patch, my books and my music
8. See my son grow into a happy, healthy adult who is living out his dreams

*8 things I say often:

1. I love you (to my husband and son)
2. No Tex, I haven't seen your..........

3. Clean your room (to my 15yo son!)
4. Jesus bloody Christ !
5. I'm so bloody tired
6. Are you serious ?
7. Have you done your homework ?
8. Is it that time already ?

*8 books i have read recently:

1. Write Home For Me (A Red Cross Woman in Vietnam) by Jean Debelle Lamensdorf
2. Slaughterhouse:The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect and Inhumane Treatment Inside
The US Meat Industry by Gail A. Eisnitz
3. Bones to Ashes by Kathy Reichs
4. Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis
5. The Power of Beauty by Nancy Friday
6. Mao's Last Dancer by Li Cunxin
7. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
8. Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks

*8 songs that I could listen to over and over (and do):

1. Throw your arms around me/Holy Grail (equal #1 - both by Hunters & Collectors)
2. Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)
3. White Flag (Dido)
4. Whiskey in the Jar (Thin Lizzy)(especially when sung & played on guitar by my husband)
5. Oh No (Dan Greenwood)
6. My Hometown (Bruce Springsteen)
7. Move it on Over (George Thorogood & The Destroyers)
8. Hallelujah (Rufus Wainright version of the Jeff Buckley classic)

*8 things which attract me to friends

1. Loyalty, Compassion, Integrity and Honesty - these above all else
2. Being able to relax and let my guard down with them
3. When they accept my idiosyncrasies without judging me
4. Being able to be still and quiet with them
5. Having an ability to laugh at one another without malice
6. Understanding what I do for a living does not define me as a human being
7. Love my cats = love me !
8. Ability to keep things simple (life is complex enough)

Today my son turned 15....

2007-11-13T20:24:00.000+11:00

....and all I can do is sit and wonder where the time has gone. He is no longer my little boy, but an incredible young man with independent hopes, dreams and aspirations. I find it amazing that I haven't completely fucked him up and that somehow he has managed to grow up to be a completely well-adjusted and self-confident kid. This quiet self-confidence allows him to tell me that he loves me every day and give me a hug in front of his peers, without embarrassment and with genuine feeling. Of all of the things that I have ever done, he is by far my greatest achievement and whilst there are times when he exasperates and infuriates me beyond all reason, there is rarely a day that goes by that I don't reflect upon just how proud I am of him and who he is.

Okay, I'll agree -this is completely self-indulgent, sappy stuff - but this is my blog and I'll put whatever the fuck I like in it !

My Furry Burmese Children

2007-11-11T20:43:00.000+11:00

Here's a picture of my Burmese cats, Minti (Blue Tortoiseshell Burmese) and Jaffa (Chocolate Burmese). They are completely over-indulged cats that I treat more like kids, which no doubt some people will find ridiculous.....but, you know what ? I don't give a rats arse.